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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829145">End of the Millennia: A Good Omens Rock Musical</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien/pseuds/IneffableAlien'>IneffableAlien</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Rent - Larson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1990s, Addiction, Alternate Universe - RENT Fusion, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Britpicked, Crossover, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), God can't pay Her rent, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), London, Multi, Musicals, Narrator God (Good Omens), Operas, Poverty, Screenplay/Script Format, Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens), Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Song Lyrics, Terminal Illnesses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:09:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829145</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien/pseuds/IneffableAlien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A large-scale fandom project to completely rewrite every song from the rock opera RENT as featuring Good Omens characters.</p><p>As the writing team of this work, we seek to combine two much beloved worlds, while still respecting the serious subject matter of the musical by transposing its themes onto angels and demons as a metaphor for complete isolation from humanity.</p><p>
  <i>A group of immortals—including God Herself, having been overthrown—in London’s Soho live in poverty as the result of a 4,000-year diaspora which started when humans attacked and destroyed Heaven and Hell.  Now occult and ethereal together must struggle to survive, make art, find love, and navigate the mysterious illness ravaging their community.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Gabriel &amp; God (Good Omens), God &amp; Michael (Good Omens), Ligur/Michael (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Scene 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ONLY IF YOU WANT HEAVY <b>SPOILERS,</b> click <a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=1rF05raglKftnLwPxGQHr_SHXmrTZwP-x">here</a> for information regarding the above <b>Archive Warning.</b></p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <table>
<tbody>
<tr>
<td>Script Director</td>
<td><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/IneffableAlien">INEFFABLEALIEN</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Writers</td>
<td><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augenblickgotter">AUGENBLICKGOTTER</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> </td>
<td><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doublematch">DOUBLEMATCH</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> </td>
<td><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrequited1984">UNREQUITED1984</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Story Editor</td>
<td>DARQE</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Brit-picker</td>
<td><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/TawnyOwl95">TAWNYOWL95</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td>Asst. to the Dir. / Poster Artist</td>
<td><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrumptious_Bastard">SCRUMPTIOUS BASTARD</a></td>
</tr>
</tbody>
</table>
<p> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>Dramatis Personae.</p>
  <p>GOD, a filmmaker.<br/>
MICHAEL, a musician.<br/>
LIGUR, a professional Dominant.<br/>
AZIRAPHALE, a professor.<br/>
CROWLEY, a street psychic and drag queen.<br/>
GABRIEL, a performance artist.<br/>
BEELZEBUB, a lawyer.<br/>
HASTUR, a landlord.</p>
</div><h1>Act 1</h1>
<p>SONGS ON THIS PAGE<br/>
<a href="#tuneup1">Tune Up #1</a><br/>
<a href="#voicemail1">Voice Mail #1</a><br/>
<a href="#tuneup2">Tune Up #2</a><br/>
<a href="#rent">Rent</a></p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Please refrain from any flash photography.</i>
  </p>
</div><p>(MICHAEL enters carrying an electric guitar.  She sits and plugs it into the amp.)</p>
<p>(GOD enters, followed by the COMPANY.  GOD sets up a small tripod and a 16mm movie camera, aimed upstage.  The only thing remarkable about her is how unremarkable she looks, even ragged.  This is not the GOD whose pronouns would have been capitalized in some other universe.  She addresses the audience.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
We begin on December 24th with me, God, and my roommate, Michael.  Yes, <i>that</i> God—not that it matters anymore.  It hasn’t mattered in about 4,000 years.  But you already knew that, didn’t you?  I’d love to hear what kind of revisionist history they’re teaching in human schools.  Do you want to know what really happened?  After all, I was there, your teachers weren’t.  Did you know they summoned us?  Oh, yeah.  You probably thought we attacked.  Listen, when I created you, I had no idea you were going to hate everything you feared, and fear everything ineffable.  I had a plan once, you know.  And it didn’t involve you people dragging all the angels and demons out of their respective realms so you could destroy Heaven and Hell.  And without my army of angels, the rest of your little coup d’état didn’t take long.  You were afraid of how powerful we were?  Well, that’ll fix it—cutting off the source.  Outside, a small tent city of homeless humans and immortals alike has sprung up in the lot next to our building.  Inside, we are freezing because our miracles are too weak to even make heat.</p>
<p>(She turns the camera to MICHAEL.)</p>
<p>Smile!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="tuneup1" name="tuneup1"></a>TUNE UP #1</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
DECEMBER 24TH, NINE PM<br/>
SOHO, LONDON TIME<br/>
SEE HOW WE LIVE<br/>
EARTHBOUND, WITHOUT A SCRIPT<br/>
DAMNED WERE BETTER OFF IN THEIR PIT<br/>
INSTEAD OF IN THIS SHIT<br/>
FIRST SHOT—MICHAEL<br/>
STUCK HERE WITH JUST A GUITAR<br/>
AND NOT A SWORD OR A SPEAR</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
This won’t tune.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
SO WE HEAR<br/>
SHE STILL TALKS ABOUT<br/>
HOW SHE KICKED ASS IN THE FALL</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Are you talking to me?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
NOT AT ALL<br/>
(appearing to zoom in)<br/>
GET YOUR WINGS OUT—IT’S IRONIC DEVOUT<br/>
HUMANS WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU’VE SPENT THESE EONS</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’M WRITING ONE GREAT SONG—</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
A prayer comes.</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Saved!</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
WE SCREEN<br/>
ZOOM IN ON THAT WHITE CELESTIAL BEAM!</p>
<p>(We see THE EGYPTIAN DEITY RA in a beam of light.  There is, notably, no telephone.  GOD is still filming the light.  She cannot see RA, nor can RA see them.  In lieu of an answering machine beep, the first two or three seconds of a generic heavenly choir sound effect is heard.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="voicemail1" name="voicemail1"></a>VOICE MAIL #1</p>
<p>RA<br/>
SHOULD I TRY “PATER NOSTER”<br/>
I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THIS ONE’S WORKING<br/>
GOD—GOD—ARE YOU THERE<br/>
ARE YOU SCREENING YOUR PRAYERS<br/>
IT’S RA<br/>
WE WANTED TO CALL AND SAY WE LOVE YOU<br/>
WHY’D YOU SKIP THE REUNION<br/>
LAKSHMI AND THE KIDS ARE HERE—SEND THEIR LOVE<br/>
OH, I HOPE YOU LIKED THE MANNA<br/>
IT’S THE HONEY-FLAVORED<br/>
AND I SENT SOME WINE<br/>
OH, AND GOD<br/>
WE’RE SORRY TO HEAR THAT WANK-WINGS DUMPED YOU<br/>
I SAY C’EST LA VIE<br/>
SO LET HIM BANG A DEMON THEN …<br/>
TALK ABOUT A “BURNING BUSH” INDEED<br/>
… LOVE, RA!</p>
<p>(Lights fade on RA.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="tuneup2" name="tuneup2"></a>TUNE UP #2</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
TELL THE FOLKS AT HOME WHAT YOU’RE DOING, MICHAEL</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’M WRITING ONE GREAT SONG—</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
A prayer comes.</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Hallelujah!</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
WE SCREEN</p>
<p>(The heavenly choir intones.)</p>
<p>(We see the front door of GOD and MICHAEL’s building, now illuminated by AZIRAPHALE standing at the door in a beam of light.  He carries a leather bookbag, slung around one elbow as he holds his hands in a praying position.)</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
“PATER NOSTER”—</p>
<p>MICHAEL AND GOD<br/>
(as GOD puts her camera down)<br/>
Aziraphale!</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I’M DOWNSTAIRS</p>
<p>(GOD steps downstage and faces the audience to indicate that she is answering AZIRAPHALE’s “call.”)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
HEY!</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
ANSWERED ON THE FIRST TRY?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
WELL, WE’RE BORED</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
UNLOCK THE DOOR</p>
<p>(GOD, still standing in front of the audience, turns her hand.  She is not pantomiming like an actor using an imaginary key, she is simply miracling the front door unlocked and the gesture is not literal.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
I GOT WINE FOR US TWO AND YOU</p>
<p>(Two NEO-NAZIS appear from behind AZIRAPHALE, with crowbars.  AZIRAPHALE becomes aware of them seconds before one hits him with a crowbar.)</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
It’s not a problem.  It’s tickety-boo …</p>
<p>(NEO-NAZIS mime beating and kicking AZIRAPHALE, who falls to the ground as lights on him fade.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
What does he mean … ?<br/>
(The heavenly choir intones again.)<br/>
What is “tickety-boo”?</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
Let me up.</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
Hastur! (as GOD spins away from the audience to stage-whisper directly to MICHAEL) Shit!</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
DON’T DARE TELEPORT</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
Fine! (as both stand and move closer to each other) Fuck!</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
I NEED THE RENT</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
What rent?</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
THAT ALL LAST CENTURY I LET SLIDE</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Let slide?  Wow—I fucking made you!</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
WHY DID I NOT SMITE YOU</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
NOT HELPING, MICHAEL</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Remember—we’re same stock?!</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
HOW COULD I FORGET?<br/>
YOU, ME, EDEN DORK, AND GABE<br/>
HOW IS THE HIMBO BABE?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
He’s performing tonight.</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
I know.<br/>
STILL DOING THEATRE CRAP FOR HIM?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Two days ago I was bumped.</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
YOU STILL “SINGING HYMNS”?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Last month I was dumped.</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
HE’S IN LOVE</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
An angel swooped in?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Well—no</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
Demon then?!</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
Hell’s Prince.</p>
<p>(HASTUR laughs hysterically.)</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
The rent, Heaven trash, is due.<br/>
Or I will have to evict you.<br/>
Be there in a few.</p>
<p>(MICHAEL defiantly picks out Musetta’s Waltz from Puccini’s La bohème on the electric guitar.  The fuse blows on the amp.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
The power blows.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="rent" name="rent"></a>RENT</p>
<p>(The COMPANY bursts into a flurry of movement.  Then everyone except GOD and MICHAEL freezes in a group upstage.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
I CAN’T REMEMBER MY OWN LIFE<br/>
WHEN MY LIFE’S GETTING MORE<br/>
LIKE HUMANS’ EACH DAY<br/>
DIVINE—SIDELINED<br/>
BY WHAT’S MINE<br/>
BLASPHEMING DEADLINES—<br/>
“EVICTION—OR PAY”<br/>
RENT!</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
HOW DO YOU WRITE A SONG<br/>
WHEN THE CHOIR IS GONE<br/>
BUT YOU CAN’T FORGET WHAT YOU ARE<br/>
EXISTENTIAL CRISIS<br/>
IS ALL MY MIND IS<br/>
HOW THE HELL DID WE FALL SO FAR</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
FAKING CASH IS A BIG BUST</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
AND MORTALS WON’T HIRE US</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
THE BACK RENT</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
And we’re freezing!</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
HOW DO YOU START A FIRE<br/>
WHEN YOUR HOME’S GONE FOR GOOD<br/>
AND FLESH, BLOOD, AND BONE ALONE CAN’T MAKE MUCH</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
HOW’S IT BEEN FOUR THOUSAND YEARS<br/>
AND WE STILL CAN’T ADJUST</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
WITH AN ANGEL’S TOUCH!</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
They have it so easy.</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
You made them—</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Don’t blame me!</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
THE BACK RENT</p>
<p>(Lights go down on the flat and go up on BEELZEBUB, who’s at the pay phone.)</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(on phone)<br/>
YOU’RE SCREENING ME?!<br/>
YOU ASS—PICK UP<br/>
HEY, GABRIEL—GOOD THING YOU’RE PRETTY…ISH<br/>
HEY, HEY, HEY! (PREENING STILL?)<br/>
DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ME<br/>
OKAY, BUT—I KNOW YOU STRESS-PREENED ALL DAY<br/>
THERE’S NO COCKUP<br/>
THERE’S NO COCKUP<br/>
THIS AUDIO MELEE<br/>
DIDN’T BLOW UP (EXACTLY)<br/>
A MIRACLE MIGHT FIX THE SOUND DELAY—<br/>
YOU’RE NOT GONNA PRAY!</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
HOW DO YOU STAY OFF THE PYRE<br/>
WHEN NEAR EVERY DAY<br/>
FEELS LIKE HELLFIRE<br/>
AND THEY HATE MY KIND<br/>
NOT THAT I RECALL<br/>
THAT ERA AT ALL—<br/>
I SEE THE WALL<br/>
AND UH-OH—<br/>
I MIGHT CRY</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
(at the window)<br/>
He get sick?</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
GOT MY BUTT LICKED<br/>
(He collapses.)</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
HOW WE GONNA PAY<br/>
THE BACK RENT</p>
<p>(A light goes up on HASTUR.)</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
(on mobile phone)<br/>
ON MY WAY, DAGON—BE HOME SOON<br/>
SHE’S REALLY GOT SOME NERVE AFTER EVERYTHING SHE’S DONE<br/>
WE BOTH KNOW SHE HATCHED THIS—THE START, THE FALL<br/>
THIS IS ALL HER FAULT—HOW’M I THE BAD ONE</p>
<p>(Three locales: BEELZEBUB at the pay phone, GOD and MICHAEL in their flat, and AZIRAPHALE on the ground.  The following is sung simultaneously.)</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
FORCES ARE GATHERING<br/>
FORCES ARE GATHERING<br/>
CAN’T LET HER WIN<br/>
FORCES ARE GATHERING</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Ughhhh—<br/>
Ughhhh—<br/>
Ughhhh— Where am I?<br/>
Ughhhh—<br/>
Ughhhh—<br/>
Ughhhh— Need some good wine.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
(She picks up her camera and holds it close.)<br/>
I STILL CAN CREATE—THEY CAN’T TAKE MY ART FROM ME</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
BUT GABE—I’M NOT A THEATRE PERSON</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
(as she picks up her guitar)<br/>
IT MIGHT NOT BE MUCH, BUT AT LEAST IT’S SOME HEAVEN OF OUR OWN</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
COULD NEVER BE A THEATRE PERSON</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
(as she turns her camera to MICHAEL)<br/>
NO FIRE BUT WE BURN THE PAST TO THE GROUND</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(realizing she’s been cut off)<br/>
Hello?</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
AND FEEL THE HEAT OF OUR OWN DAMN GLOW</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
Hello?</p>
<p>(Suddenly GOD snaps to attention, facing downstage.  It is obvious she heard something she is physically incapable of ignoring.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
GABRIEL? WHAT?<br/>
MY MIRACLES ARE LOW—<br/>
OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I’LL GO!</p>
<p>GOD AND HALF OF COMPANY<br/>
HOW DO YOU LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND<br/>
WHEN IT KEEPS MARCHING ON TO AN ENDLESS SONG<br/>
A CENTURY HEALS JUST LIKE A MINUTE AND WON’T END<br/>
WHEN EVERYTHING’S WRONG<br/>
RENT!</p>
<p>MICHAEL AND OTHER HALF OF COMPANY<br/>
YOU THINK YOU CAN COUNT ON ONE THING<br/>
BUT EVEN—DEVILS—YOU KNOW<br/>
LEAVE YOU WITH BROKEN WINGS</p>
<p>ALL<br/>
WHAT HOLDS THE PLANET TOGETHER<br/>
WHEN THERE’S NO ONE HELMING THE DAMN SHIP—<br/>
JUST AN EMPTY STING</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
THEY’RE ALL SOULS WE CAN STEAL<br/>
IF WE STILL STRIKE DEALS</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
SELL YOUR CAMERA FOR RENT</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
SAY THAT AGAIN</p>
<p>ALL<br/>
WHEN THEY ACT TOUGH—YOU CALL THEIR BLUFF</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
WE’RE NOT GONNA PAY</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL WITH HALF OF COMPANY<br/>
WE’RE NOT GONNA PAY</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL WITH OTHER HALF OF COMPANY<br/>
WE’RE NOT GONNA PAY</p>
<p>ALL<br/>
THE BACK RENT<br/>
THE NEXT RENT<br/>
ANY RENT<br/>
RENT RENT RENT RENT RENT<br/>
WE’RE NOT GONNA PAY RENT</p>
<p>MICHAEL AND GOD<br/>
‘CAUSE EVERYTHING IS RENT</p>

<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>xx <a href="http://siliconealien.tumblr.com">siliconealien</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Scene 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A certain street performer tends to an injured angel.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much for your support!  I have wanted to do this for a while and I love to see how feral people on Discord are going for it!!</p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SONGS ON THIS PAGE<br/>
<a href="#youokayhoney">You Okay Honey?</a><br/>
<a href="#tuneup3">Tune Up #3</a><br/>
<a href="#onesongglory">One Song Glory</a><br/>
<a href="#lightmycandle">Light My Candle</a></p><p> </p><p><a id="youokayhoney" name="youokayhoney"></a>YOU OKAY HONEY</p><p>(The street in front of a phone box.  A HOMELESS DEMON appears above on the right.  Across the stage, ANTHONY J CROWLEY is seated on a red “throne”—a foldable camping chair to which he has added accents like spray-painted gold scrap metal and white fairy lights.  He has put down a threadbare black rug and a potted plant to provide a touch of glamor despite rubbish bins being not far away.  Some of the lights hanging off his chair are also wound around the plant, which is not bearing the weight too well.  He is giving a palm reading to a CUSTOMER, who is sitting across from him in a standard folding chair.)</p><p>A HOMELESS DEMON<br/>
ONCE WAS WHEN WE TOOK WING<br/>
ONCE WAS WHEN WE TOOK WING<br/>
ONCE WAS WHEN WE TOOK WING<br/>
SO LONG GONE<br/>
NOT NOW</p><p>(The HOMELESS DEMON exits.)</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
(to the CUSTOMER)<br/>
Ah, yes—the way this line is higher up on your hand, that tells me that you’re wild at heart, drawn to many lovers, passionate—</p><p>CUSTOMER<br/>
Oh, I don’t know about all that.  I’ve been saving myself for the one, you see.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
—passionate about family <i>valuessssssss!</i></p><p>CUSTOMER<br/>
Right.</p><p>(The CUSTOMER stands abruptly and leaves.  CROWLEY starts to sigh, which he quickly covers with a scowl.  He stands as if to pick up the folding chair, but is interrupted by a moan.  He moves to break down his setup again and sees AZIRAPHALE limp to downstage-left proscenium.)</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
YOU OKAY, ANGEL?</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
TICKETY-BOO</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
THEY TOOK SOMETHING SPECIAL?</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
WELL—<br/>
NOT MUCH TO TAKE<br/>
BUT THEY PURLOINED MY BOOKS<br/>
WELL, YOU MISSED A PAGE! (CROWLEY holds out a silver scarf.)<br/>
Thanks.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
BABE, NO NEED TO RAGE<br/>
I’M CROWLEY</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
CROWLEY … ? (looking up at CROWLEY) INDEED<br/>
A FALLEN OF THE NINTH DEGREE<br/>
I’M AZIRAPHALE—NICKNAMES FAIL (they shake hands)<br/>
NICE SEAT …</p><p>(CROWLEY twists to appreciate his own arse a little before realizing AZIRAPHALE was talking about the chair.)</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
LET’S GET A PLASTER FOR YOUR KNEE<br/>
I’LL CHANGE, THERE’S AN “ORMS SUPPORT” MEETING AT NINE-THIRTY<br/>
YES, THIS CORPORATION IS THE AB FAB HOME<br/>
TO THE OCCULT RAPID MORTALITY SYNDROME</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
MINE TOO, DEAR</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
WELL, THAT’S GOOD TO HEAR<br/>
GET YOU A DRINK, OR A BITE<br/>
MAKE A NIGHT—I’ve dosh.</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I couldn’t ask you …</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Let me tempt you, posh—<br/>
MY SPECIALITY, YOU KNOW<br/>
SO YOU CANNOT SAY NO</p><p>(CROWLEY pulls AZIRAPHALE off stage right.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="tuneup3" name="tuneup3"></a>TUNE UP #3</p><p>(Lights come up on flat.  Enter GOD and MICHAEL, who now has an acoustic guitar.)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Where are you going?</p><p>GOD<br/>
A horn sounds …</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Where’s the O.T. God?!</p><p>GOD<br/>
I don’t suppose you’d like to see him play in the lot tonight?<br/>
(MICHAEL shrugs)<br/>
Or come to dinner?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’m too weak to miracle cash.</p><p>GOD<br/>
Touché.  Don’t forget your meds.<br/>
CLOSE ON MICHAEL<br/>
HER EX URIEL<br/>
LEFT A NOTE SAYING “WE’VE GOT ORMS”<br/>
BEFORE BURNING IN BLACK MARKET HELLFIRE<br/>
I’ll check up on you later—change your mind.  You have to get out of the house.<br/>
(She exits)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’m writing one great song before I …  (She picks out Musetta’s Waltz before getting frustrated and slamming down her guitar on the table.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="onesongglory" name="onesongglory"></a>ONE SONG GLORY</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
IN A<br/>
BODY<br/>
I’VE NOT<br/>
MUCH LONG TO GO<br/>
GLORY<br/>
TO GOD—BUT THERE GO I<br/>
I HAVE FOUGHT<br/>
AND I WAS STRONG<br/>
GLORY<br/>
TO REMEMBER ALL I SAW<br/>
BEFORE I CAUGHT MORTALITY<br/>
IT’S A<br/>
JOKE DEATH IS PLAYING ON ME—<br/>
TO BE<br/>
WITH NO SOURCE FOR A NEW SKIN<br/>
A NEW SKIN<br/>
FIND GLORY<br/>
BEFORE IN LIMBO I DWELL—<br/>
A SPOT<br/>
FOR DEAD WHO CAN’T DIE<br/>
GLORY—ON AN UNUSABLE SHELL<br/>
NOT FELLED—STILL HELL<br/>
GLORY—ONE FALL FROM GLORY<br/>
ONE FALL FROM GLORY—GLORY<br/>
FIND<br/>
GLORY<br/>
LET ME STEAL IT BACK NOW<br/>
I WILL POUR MY LAST ONLY<br/>
BLESSED LIGHT IN ONE SONG<br/>
FIND<br/>
ONE SONG<br/>
A SONG LIKE A DOVE<br/>
GLORY<br/>
FROM A BEATEN ARCHANGEL<br/>
ARCHANGEL<br/>
FIND<br/>
THE ONE SONG<br/>
BEFORE THIS SICKNESS TAKES HOLD<br/>
GLORY<br/>
LIKE CREATION<br/>
ONE SONG<br/>
SO FOREVER MY SPELL’S FELT<br/>
THIS SHELL<br/>
WILL ROT—LEAVE ME TO ENDURE FROM THE VEIL<br/>
MY HELL</p><p>(MICHAEL is interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.  It is LIGUR, a handsome demon from downstairs.)</p><p>The door.</p><p>(MICHAEL crosses to the door.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="lightmycandle" name="lightmycandle"></a>LIGHT MY CANDLE</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
God forgets stuff?</p><p>(LIGUR enters, holding a candle and looking for a match … or a miracle … whichever comes first; his electricity is down, too.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
CAN YOU LIGHT?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I KNOW YOU? YOU’RE<br/>
YOU’RE SHIVERING</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
A BOTHER<br/>
I’M USED TO MORE HEAT<br/>
DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE I’M<br/>
WEAK ON MY FEET<br/>
COULD YOU LIGHT MY CANDLE?<br/>
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
AT YOU<br/>
YOU’RE WEARING A LIZARD<br/>
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?<br/>
(She lights his candle using a match.  She’s short on miracle power, too.  LIGUR starts to leave, but stumbles.)<br/>
CAN YOU MAKE IT?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
JUST OUT OF POWER FOR THE DAY<br/>
AND THIS IS “MARK” I’M WEARING<br/>
BY THE WAY, WHAT?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
NOTHING<br/>
YOU’RE STOIC, IT MAKES ME THINK OF</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
WHO’D I MAKE AN ANGEL THINK OF? WHO ARE THEY?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
SHE DIED, HER NAME WAS URIEL</p><p>(LIGUR discreetly blows out the candle.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I’LL STOP YOU THERE<br/>
SHOULDN’T THAT MUCH CARE<br/>
COULD YOU LIGHT MY CANDLE?</p><p>(MICHAEL lights the candle with another match.  They linger, awkwardly.)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Well—</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
Yeah.  Oh!</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
OH, THE WAX IS—</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
DRIPPING! SUBS LIKE IT—BETWEEN THEIR?<br/>
(tries to get closer to Michael who steps away abruptly)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
FINGERS?! DON’T TELL ME …<br/>
OH, WELL. GOODNIGHT<br/>
(LIGUR starts to exit, blowing the candle out on his way.  MICHAEL heads back toward her guitar on the table.  LIGUR knocks, MICHAEL answers.)<br/>
IT BLEW OUT AGAIN?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
NO—IT LOOKS LIKE I LOST MY STASH</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I FEEL I’VE SEEN YOU OUT AND ABOUT<br/>
THOUGH I RARELY GOT OUT<br/>
YOUR CANDLE’S OUT</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
OH, BUGGER<br/>
I HAD IT WHEN I WALKED IN THE DOOR<br/>
IT WAS PURE<br/>
MUST BE ON THE FLOOR</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
The floor?</p><p>(LIGUR gets down on all fours and starts searching the floor for his stash.<br/>
He looks back at MICHAEL, who is staring at him again.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
THEY SAY THAT I HAVE THE BEST ARSE OF ANY DEMON<br/>
IS IT TRUE?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
What?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
YOU’RE STARING AGAIN</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
OH, NO<br/>
I MEAN YOU DO—have a nice— (LIGUR stands up and looks at her)<br/>
I mean, “MARK” SOUNDS FAMILIAR</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
DUH, HE’S MY FAMILIAR</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
(sitting on the edge of the table)<br/>
I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE<br/>
BUT I THINK I’VE SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE ELSE</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
(crouching back down to look)<br/>
DO YOU GO TO THE FLAMERS CLUB?<br/>
THAT’S WHERE I WORK—I DOM—HELP ME LOOK</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Yes!<br/>
I SWEAR IT WAS JUST ONCE—</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I’LL TELL NO ONE</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I DIDN’T RECOGNIZE YOU<br/>
WITHOUT THE STUN GUN</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
(standing back up and walking over to MICHAEL)<br/>
SO YOU’VE GOT A DARK SIDE<br/>
OH, CAN’T YOU GIVE ME A LIGHT?</p><p>(MICHAEL lights it again, this time with a miracle.  She’s showing off just a bit.)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE HUMAN DRUGS<br/>
HELL HAD NO QUALITY?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
THE BEST SCENE BUT I’M STUCK HERE ON EARTH<br/>
(getting down on all fours again and searching under the table whilst MICHAEL stands behind him watching)<br/>
I WAS MADE TO BE DAMNED</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
SHE MADE NO ONE TO BE DAMNED<br/>
I USED TO SHIVER LIKE THAT</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
THERE IS NO HEAT—YOU KNOW THIS</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I USED TO SWEAT</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
SOME DEMONS SHINE</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
UH-HUH<br/>
WHO’D THINK I WAS A USER</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
(standing up and facing her, defensively)<br/>
BUT NOW AND THEN IT’S BAD TO</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
UH-HUH</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
FEEL GOOD<br/>
(starting to look again)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Here it— um.<br/>
(Michael stoops down and picks up a small object: LIGUR’s stash.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
(turning to look at her)<br/>
What’s that?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
It’s a Dairy Milk wrapper.</p><p>(MICHAEL puts it behind her back and into her pocket and walks away.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
(getting up and walking over to her)<br/>
WE COULD LIGHT THE CANDLE</p><p>(MICHAEL discreetly blows out the candle.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
WHAT’D YOU DO WITH MY CANDLE?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
(sitting on the table)<br/>
MY POWER’S ALL TAPPED</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
WHO NEEDS ANY LIGHT? OCCULT EYES AND ALL</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
MAYBE IT’S NOT OUR EYES AT ALL<br/>
I HEAR SET STILL TRIES TO MAKE LIGHTNING</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
THAT FIRE GUY … HE’S ALL RIGHT</p><p>(LIGUR places her hand under his, pretending to do it by accident.)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Warm hands.</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
YOURS, TOO<br/>
WHITE. LIKE THE DEVIL’S<br/>
YOU WANNA DANCE?<br/>
(grabbing her hand and pulling her up)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
With you?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
(sarcastically)<br/>
NO—WITH THE DEVIL</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’M MICHAEL</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I’M CALLED SIR<br/>
I’M CALLED SIR LIGUR</p><p>(They dance whilst LIGUR sings his lines.  Whilst dancing, they get close to kissing.  LIGUR reaches into MICHAEL’s back pocket and pulls out his stash.  After finishing his lines, he pushes her away and waves the packet in her face before strutting out.  Lights down.  Exit MICHAEL.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>xx <a href="http://siliconealien.tumblr.com">siliconealien</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Scene 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It takes two to tango when it comes to crying over the Archangel Fucking Gabriel.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <b><a href="#leapoffaith">MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT THE AMAZING HUSBANDS FANART</a> that <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeapOfFaith1489">LeapOfFaith1489</a> sent us!!</b>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SONGS ON THIS PAGE<br/>
<a href="#voicemail2">Voice Mail #2</a><br/>
<a href="#2pray4u">2 Pray 4 U</a><br/>
<a href="#remember">Remember</a><br/>
<a href="#dancegabriel">Dance: Gabriel</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="voicemail2" name="voicemail2"></a>VOICE MAIL #2</p>
<p>(BEELZEBUB’s flat.  In blackout a phone rings.  Evidently not everyone has the luxury of receiving prayers.  We see GABRIEL in silhouette.)</p>
<p>GABRIEL<br/>
Hi.  You’ve reached Gabriel and Beezy.</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(from offstage)<br/>
Do not call me that!</p>
<p>GABRIEL<br/>
Leave a message, and don’t forget “Trumpet the News”—my performance, protesting the eviction of the homeless (and angels) from Old Compton Street.  Tonight at midnight in the lot behind the pub.  Party at the Admiral Duncan to follow.</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(from offstage)<br/>
Do not use that message where you call me— (BEEP)</p>
<p>LUCIFER<br/>
WELL, BEEZY—WE’RE HERE<br/>
WE STOPPED TO SEE ASMODEUS<br/>
AND HE SAID YOU’RE STAGE MANAGING OR SOMETHING</p>
<p>MAZIKEEN<br/>
Remind them that Mazikeen will kick<br/>
Their ass to get them out.</p>
<p>LUCIFER<br/>
CALL MAMMON TO GET AN ANSWER OR TRY JUST RINGING THE FRONT DESK<br/>
OR REALLY ANY STRIP CLUB IF IT’S THE POSH KIND<br/>
WE’LL STILL BE IN LONDON NEW YEAR’S<br/>
UNLESS IT TURNS OUT TO BE MADLY DULL</p>
<p>MAZIKEEN<br/>
The cocaine.</p>
<p>LUCIFER<br/>
Oh—yes, Beezy.<br/>
WHY RING IN THE NEW YEAR WHEN YOU CAN TOOT IN INSTEAD<br/>
WE’LL NEED YOU ALONE—FOR THAT BIT</p>
<p>MAZIKEEN<br/>
Luci!</p>
<p>LUCIFER<br/>
COME OFF IT<br/>
THEY KNOW HOW I FEEL<br/>
AND YOU TOLD ME THE SAME THING</p>
<p>MAZIKEEN<br/>
I DID NOT!</p>
<p>LUCIFER<br/>
FOR MAZE’S SAKE, BEEZY<br/>
DO NOT MISS US THIS TIME AND LOOSEN UP<br/>
OH, AND BEEZY—HAVE A HAPPY</p>
<p>MAZIKEEN<br/>
AND A BUMP<br/>
(Exit)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="2pray4u" name="2pray4u"></a>2 PRAY 4 U</p>
<p>(GOD and MICHAEL’s flat.  MICHAEL sits on the table with her guitar.  GOD stands downstage center before joining her.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Meet Aziraphale, collector of books, teacher, gavotte enthusiast, who flew naked through the Parthenon … when it was new. (a beat) It’s a long story.</p>
<p>(AZIRAPHALE carries a tartan tote bag filled with provisions.)</p>
<p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
DARJEELING AND EARL GREY<br/>
NICE CHÂTEAUNEUF-DU-PAPE<br/>
THOSE BISCUITS THAT ARE PINK WILL TASTE SO GOOD</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
AND FIREWOOD</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
LOOK WHO ANSWERS PRAYERS</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Dear girl, don’t stare.</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Hello.</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Good Lord—after years that’s all?</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Sorry.</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Fear not, I brought some whisky!</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE AND GOD<br/>
OH, HOLY WINE</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
MORTALS PAY TEACHERS SO WELL?</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
THE WAY I SEE TRUTH AND HISTORY ARE INTEGRAL TO WRITE AND READ<br/>
SO I’VE BEEN RELEASED<br/>
AS ONE SPEAKS IMMORTALS’ OPPRESSION THROUGH OUR POETRY<br/>
STILL HAVEN’T LEFT THE HOUSE?</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
WITHOUT MY FLAMER, UH—SWORD HANDLER?</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I MIGHT HANDLE SNAKES …<br/>
COME TO THE SHOW AND DRINK ON COMPTON AFTER</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
No power.</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
ENTITIES, OUR BENEFACTOR YOU WOULD NOT EXPECT<br/>
WHOSE ESSENCE ON THE AIR HAS SURELY LED YOU TO SUSPECT<br/>
A NEW PRESENCE DARK AND BEAUTIFUL FOR SUCH I HAVE PRAYED<br/>
CROWLEY—COME DOWN!—A. J …</p>
<p>(CROWLEY sashays in.  He’s gorgeously—and quite ironically—done up in flowing angel drag, with a fan of twenty-dollar bills in each hand.  He hands one to MICHAEL and one to GOD.  The look is essentially a white and gold caftan that barely covers his arse, and black snakeskin thigh-high boots.  He wears a blonde wig with a white halo.  It is obvious where this is going.)</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
To pray for you—temptation for me!<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
And you should hear her read!</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
You earned this on the street?</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
WELL, I WAS OUT TO SEE THE MEAT DOWN ON VILLIERS STREET<br/>
THAT’S THE ONLY HEAVEN HAS ME WHEN I DID MEET<br/>
A BIRD RUNNING ON NO SLEEP TRYING HARD TO NOT WEEP<br/>
AS SHE REGALED ME WITH THE TALE OF HER RUDE NEIGHBORS’ HOUSE-KEEP<br/>
“THIS DEMONIC FREAK ERIC MAID HAS QUEEN DREAMS<br/>
WHEN HE’S LEFT TO DO WORK IT SEEMS HE BEAMS<br/>
HIS CHER ACT DIRECT IN MY POOR EARS<br/>
SCARE HIM WITH A READING FAKED SO HE SAYS ‘CHEERS’”<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME<br/>
SO I PLAYED COOL AND CALM—A THOUSAND POUNDS WITHOUT A QUALM<br/>
SOME BOMB—AND A BONUS IF I READ HER PALMS<br/>
NOW WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED A FATE SO GENEROUS<br/>
BUT SURE AS I CAN TEMPT A QUEEN QUIT HER DAY JOB AND DRESSED<br/>
UNDER HER NEW NAME—EVITA—MAKES ONE SAD STORY<br/>
THE LAD NEVER DID COME THROUGH THAT SHADY QUEEN GLORY<br/>
SHE TRIPPED RIGHT OFF THAT BLESSED CURB FOR ALL CRASHED TO SEE<br/>
FACE-FIRST INTO A BENTLEY SPED UP TO NINETY<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME</p>
<p>(CROWLEY does a fabulous dance solo wherein he performs a spinning reveal.  When he sheds his caftan and wig he is wearing a devil-red skin-tight sequin minidress, and his natural red hair is down in waves.)</p>
<p>THE STREET AGAIN WHERE MY SCAM HAD BEEN<br/>
FROM WHERE I KNEW HELL NOT BEAUTIES WELL WHO DANCED ON PINS<br/>
I LOOKED THEN I KNEW UPON EYES STORMY BLUE<br/>
WE WERE MEANT TO BE AS SURELY I’M MADE TO SIN<br/>
WAHOO!<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME<br/>
TO PRAY FOR YOU—TEMPTATION FOR ME</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="remember" name="remember"></a>REMEMBER</p>
<p>(HASTUR enters.)</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
SOMEDAY WE’LL FIND IT—<br/>
Hey, you demon, don’t block my view.<br/>
I found work, so what’s your excuse?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
That attitude toward the homeless is exactly what<br/>
Gabriel’s protesting tonight.<br/>
(holding camera up to HASTUR)<br/>
Close up: Hastur, former Duke of Hell, an ex-angel who’s truly perfected striking deals with humans—then bought the building and the lot next door in hopes of making a housing unit, for souls used like batteries.</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
GABE GIVES ZERO SHITS ‘BOUT<br/>
POWER I CREATE SANS HELL—<br/>
DON’T START ON “SOULS’ RIGHTS”</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
AT LEAST CARE FOR OUR KIND<br/>
THEY’RE HOMELESS DOWN THERE, TOO<br/>
AND YOUR “CLIENTS” GET NO FAIR FIGHT</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
NO ONE’S FORCING THEM AT ALL TO SELL<br/>
IF THEY’RE DESPERATE THEN WHO CARES WHAT PAIN THEY’RE IN</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
WE DON’T HAVE TO HURT THEM</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
THE RENT</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
JUST CONJURE IT YOURSELF</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
WE’RE BROKE</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
HE WON’T SPEND THE SOULS—they burn like coal!</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
THERE IS ONE WAY YOU WON’T HAVE TO PAY</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Here it comes!</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
MEMORY BANKS DON’T MAKE MIRACLES, YOU SEE<br/>
THEY’RE REALLY JUST GOOD FOR ONE THING<br/>
SOULS COME WITH THEM BUT THEY’RE USELESS TO ME<br/>
REMEMBER<br/>
REMEMBER<br/>
YOU DON’T HAVE POWER TO UPGRADE A CORPOREAL BRAIN TO HOLD CENTURIES<br/>
I’LL FOREGO YOUR RENT AND EVEN SWEETEN THE DEAL<br/>
SO EDEN YOU’LL CLEARLY SEE<br/>
IF YOU DO ME ONE SMALL FAVOR</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
What?</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
Convince ole Gabe to cancel his protest.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Why not just curse the area or set some wards?</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
I tried, I got neutralized.<br/>
I CAN’T MAKE FIRE LIKE THE OLD DAYS<br/>
SO BUGGER THIS FOR A LARK</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
This isn’t just some dumb joke to make about Hell’s dark<br/>
Magic before leveling things like the Ark!</p>
<p>HASTUR<br/>
I’LL EVEN FREE UP CROWLEY’S DISK SPACE<br/>
THOUGH NOW YOU FLY WITH ANGELS<br/>
YOU WERE A STARRING SNAKE BACK THEN<br/>
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING SPECIAL<br/>
REMEMBER<br/>
REMEMBER<br/>
TAKE BACK—THE DETAILS OF WHAT ONCE YOU HAD<br/>
BEFORE THOSE SCUM TOOK IT ALL AWAY<br/>
THERE IS NO BETTER DEAL<br/>
YOU KNOW THAT THIS IS A STEAL<br/>
JUST STOP THE PROTEST—<br/>
TAKE BACK ALL YOUR DAYS<br/>
TAKE THEM—or you’ll pack.</p>
<p>(HASTUR exits.)</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
What could I need from the past?</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Let’s not discuss.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
We have us.</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
That’s what I say—<br/>
No one mattered before anyway.<br/>
Who wants to come out with Crowley and me?</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
It’s a group for angels <i>and</i> demons who have ORMS.<br/>
It’s not too corny, really.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
FIRST I’VE GOT A PROTEST TO BLESS</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
Michael?</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
Those aren’t the channels I run in.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
You mess!</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
She’ll catch up later—just try and nap a bit, maybe sin …<br/>
WE HAVE US</p>
<p>GOD AND AZIRAPHALE<br/>
(sitting on either side of MICHAEL and pushing her playfully)<br/>
WE HAVE US</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
(steps away with her guitar)<br/>
WE’RE NOT ALL “US”</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
WE’RE MY “US”</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
“US” WITH ME … ??</p>
<p>ALL<br/>
JUST TRUST</p>
<p>(GOD turns back around.  Lights out on MICHAEL, a spot follows GOD.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="dancegabriel" name="dancegabriel"></a>DANCE: GABRIEL</p>
<p>(Lights up.  The lot.  BEELZEBUB is reexamining the cable connections for the umpteenth time.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Permanent purgatory … the lot.  Where a small stage is partially set up.</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(playing with some wires)<br/>
“Line in” …<br/>
I was Prince of Hell for this?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Close on God’s weakness.</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
“Line out” …</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
I guess I was just “one of us.”</p>
<p>(BEELZEBUB notices GOD approaching.)</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
No.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Hi.</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I TOLD HIM DON’T INVOKE YOU</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
SOUNDS LIKE GABE<br/>
BUT CAN I HELP SINCE I’M IN</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I’VE SUMMONED A UNION IMP</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Great!<br/>
Well, was nice catching up. (turns to leave)</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
Wait!<br/>
She’s trapped in a tape.<br/>
THE SAMPLES WON’T DELAY<br/>
BUT THE CABLE</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
THERE’S ANOTHER WAY<br/>
SAY SOMETHING—ANYTHING</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(into the mike)<br/>
VERSUS CHRISTUS</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
ANYTHING BUT THAT</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
THIS IS WEIRD</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
IT’S WEIRD</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
BLESSED WEIRD</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
GODDAMN WEIRD</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I’M IN WRATH<br/>
SO BAD I SCARED OFF MY FLIES<br/>
FIGHTING WITH HUMAN TECH<br/>
TRIED EVERY CURSE AND HEX<br/>
AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF<br/>
GOD’S NEARBY</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
FEEL LIKE LICKING THE WALLS?<br/>
YOU’RE RELIVING YOUR FALL?<br/>
AND YOU’D JUMP IN A HOLY WATER WELL?</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
AS A MATTER OF FACT</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
DEMON, I KNOW THIS ACT<br/>
IT’S CALLED THE “DANCE GABRIEL”<br/>
THE DANCE GABRIEL<br/>
IT’S A SPECIAL ETHEREAL HELL<br/>
YOU’RE STUCK IN HIS ORBIT</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I’m not.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
‘CAUSE THAT ASS JUST WON’T QUIT</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
It’s me who’s in charge.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
AND YOU WANT TO BE DONE<br/>
HE IS PAINFULLY DUMB<br/>
YET THAT SMILE KEEPS CASTING ITS SPELL</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
MAYBE WE BOTH KNOW TOO WELL</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
THE DANCE GABRIEL</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
DOES HE BAT THOSE BIG VIOLET EYES<br/>
AND CALL YOU “SWEET-WINGS”</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
Never.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
IS IT LIKE YOU MATTERED NOT ONCE AT ALL?</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
THAT’S THE WORST THING<br/>
DID YOU SWOON WHEN HE WORE THOSE SWEATPANTS?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
OH, I KNOW—THEY’RE THE GREY ONES</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
DID HE SMITE ANY DEMONS MUCH?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
LOVED TO SMITE</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
HAND ME A SHOTGUN</p>
<p>(They begin to dance, with GOD leading.)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Where’d you meet anyway?</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I represented him that one time he got caught drinking while flying.  And you?</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Somewhere between the first sound, the invention of time, and the Garden of Eden, I created— (as they switch, and BEELZEBUB leads)</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(interrupting)<br/>
But doesn’t that make you his—</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
We do not bring that up!</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
HE’S PIOUS</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
HE’S PIOUS</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
HE’S STILL PIOUS</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
FUCKIN’ PIOUS</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I’M A DEMON<br/>
HE CAN’T GIVE ME RESPECT</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
GOTTA LOOK ON THE DARK SIDE<br/>
TELL THAT HERALD “HARK”</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
HE STILL WON’T HEAR ME, I SUSPECT</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
WHEN YOU’RE DANCING HIS DANCE<br/>
YOU DON’T STAND A CHANCE<br/>
THEN YOU IN A TRANCE<br/>
IN FLAMES FALL</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
TELL YOURSELF IT’S JUST SWELL</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
THOUGH IT BURNS WORSE THAN HELL</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
AT LEAST I’LL HAVE LOVED HIM AT ALL<br/>
THE DANCE GABRIEL<br/>
BELIEVE WHAT THAT CAR SALESMAN TELLS YOU<br/>
‘CAUSE YOU’LL STILL WANT TO BUY IT<br/>
IF EVERY DAY YOU CAN RIDE IT<br/>
BUT THE END IT WILL COME<br/>
STILL AT LEAST YOU GOT SOME<br/>
THOUGH HE’S SCUM YOU SUCCUMB<br/>
THAT’S ON YOU</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
WHY’D WE GIVE OUR HEARTS AWAY?</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
HE MIGHT JUST DRIVE ME TO PRAY</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
TRY THE MIKE</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
MY VICE GABE (reverb: abe, abe, abe…)</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
Patched!</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
Thanks.</p>
<p>GOD<br/>
You know I feel great now!</p>
<p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
I feel lousy.<br/>
(The pay phone rings.  GOD hands it to BEELZEBUB.)<br/>
Gabe, we’re … (pause) “Sweet-wings”?!<br/>
You never call me Sweet-wings … (GOD laughs at them.  She abruptly covers her mouth when they look at her.)<br/>
Forget it, we’re patched.<br/>
(They hang up, look at GOD.)</p>
<p>BOTH<br/>
THE DANCE GABRIEL</p>
<p>(Lights down.  Exit BEELZEBUB and GOD.  MICHAEL remains sitting on the table with her guitar and her back to the audience.)</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <a id="leapoffaith" name="leapoffaith"></a>
    <b>Fanart by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeapOfFaith1489">LeapOfFaith1489</a>!</b>
  </p>
  <p>
    
  </p>
  <p>
    <b>This week’s poster art by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrumptious_Bastard">Scrumptious_Bastard</a>: <i>Hastur</i></b>
  </p>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>xx <a href="http://siliconealien.tumblr.com">siliconealien</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Scene 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ligur wants Michael to come lurk tonight.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We are getting into the more serious themes of RENT ... hold onto your hearts.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SONGS ON THIS PAGE<br/>
<a href="#findsupport">Find Support</a><br/>
<a href="#lurktonight">Lurk Tonight</a><br/>
<a href="#anotherday">Another Day</a><br/>
<a href="#willi">Will I?</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="findsupport" name="findsupport"></a>FIND SUPPORT</p>
<p>(CROWLEY and AZIRAPHALE attend an ORMS support group.  KOKABIEL, the support leader, sits on the downstage railing above.  RAPHAEL, one of the members of the group, is standing downstage left, facing the audience.  As the members enter, they introduce themselves and form a semicircle.)</p>
<p>REMIEL<br/>
Remiel.</p>
<p>RAPHAEL<br/>
Raph.</p>
<p>APEP<br/>
Apep.</p>
<p>LAZARETH<br/>
Laz.</p>
<p>ERIKA<br/>
Erika.</p>
<p>CROWLEY<br/>
Uh, I’m Crowley.</p>
<p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Aziraphale.</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
I’m Koka.  Let’s begin.</p>
<p>ALL<br/>
THERE’S ONLY US<br/>
THERE’S ONLY THIS …</p>
<p>(WILSON, a human, blusters in noisily.)</p>
<p>WILSON<br/>
SORRY … EXCUSE ME … OOPS</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
Are you lost?</p>
<p>WILSON<br/>
NO—I NEED<br/>
I’M HUMAN BUT<br/>
I’M NOT A<br/>
THERE’S NOWHERE<br/>
(spoken over no music, this section alone is to diverge markedly with intention from the source material) Um … (a beat, everyone is still) They chased out my AIDS group.<br/>
I’m alone.<br/>
(a long pause, an uncomfortable silence)<br/>
I’m sorry, I’ll—</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
Sit down, please.<br/>
We’d be happy to host you a while.</p>
<p>ALL<br/>
FORGET REGRET OR THIS REALM’S YOURS TO MISS</p>
<p>RAPHAEL<br/>
EXCUSE ME BUT—I’M HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THIS<br/>
THIS “GUEST” HERE—IT’S A BIT TOO NEAR<br/>
THOSE BEHIND THIS ALL, OKAY?</p>
<p>(WILSON starts rising to leave.)</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
(halting WILSON with a hand but looking at RAPHAEL)<br/>
All right.<br/>
But Raph—HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?</p>
<p>RAPHAEL<br/>
What’s that matter?</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?</p>
<p>RAPHAEL<br/>
Okay.</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
Is that all?</p>
<p>RAPHAEL<br/>
GLAD I’M NOT OUT THERE</p>
<p>KOKABIEL<br/>
THEN WHY NOT SHARE?</p>
<p>RAPHAEL<br/>
I’m an Archangel.<br/>
WE DON’T SHARE<br/>
LOOK—I KNOW I SHOULD NOT BE SO DAMNED COLD<br/>
I HATE THEIR DOCTORS FOR GROUPING US ALL “OCCULT”<br/>
THERE WAS EVEN LONG AGO I COULD HEAL WHO PRAYED<br/>
BUT I CAN’T SAY NO WHEN TO THEIR OWN</p>
<p>RAPHAEL AND MICHAEL (who sings from her flat)<br/>
THEY’RE CRUEL THIS WAY</p>
<p>ALL (except MICHAEL)<br/>
THE ROAD’S THE SAME<br/>
NO OTHER WAY<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY</p>
<p>(Lights down on the support group.  Lights up on LIGUR.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="lurktonight" name="lurktonight"></a>LURK TONIGHT</p>
<p>(LIGUR’s flat.)</p>
<p>LIGUR<br/>
THIS HELL-SPAWN<br/>
CAN’T BE SUMMONED BECAUSE I GOT NEEDS<br/>
MY LIZARD’S TALKING TO ME<br/>
MARK SAYS, “TIME FOR DANGER”<br/>
WE’RE OFF TO MENACE UNTIL THE DAWN<br/>
WANNA BLOW AWAY THE DAY’S DEEDS<br/>
I WANNA SEE WHAT I CAN GET AND NET<br/>
ME AN ANGEL<br/>
I’VE HAD A KNACK LIFETIMES BACK<br/>
TO BREAK ALL HER RULES AND SAY SCREW HER GAMES<br/>
GO OUT—GOD FORBID<br/>
BACK TO SOMEPLACE HID<br/>
WHERE SUCCUBI DANCE IN THE FLAMES<br/>
DON’T YOU BRING SOMETHING HOLY<br/>
WHY DON’T YOU COME IN AND SEE<br/>
YOU’LL BE SAFE INSIDE<br/>
IF YOU COME IN WITH ME</p>
<p>LET’S GO AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
I HAVE TO GO AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
YOU NEEDING SOME?<br/>
DON’T YOU PLAY DUMB<br/>
WE’LL SHAKE IT UP ’TIL WE START KINGDOM COME<br/>
I’LL MAKE YOU LURK TONIGHT (growls)</p>
<p>WHEN I TAKE MY WHIP FROM THE DOORMAN<br/>
DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU’LL BE?<br/>
WHEN YOU FIRST SUB AT THE TOP CLUB FOR KINK-DEMON ME</p>
<p>LET’S GO AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
I HAVE TO GO AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
OR WE CAN FIGHT<br/>
ROLE-PLAY WHITE KNIGHT<br/>
IF YOU LIKE ROUGH I’LL GIVE IT RIGHT<br/>
LURK TONIGHT</p>
<p>BOUND TO EARTH HERE I’VE GOT TO ROAM<br/>
NO REST FOR THE WICKED WHEN DARKNESS HAS COME<br/>
BUT I’M LONELY AT HOME<br/>
AND YOU’RE HARDLY STAYING SANE<br/>
WE’LL START A PUB CRAWL<br/>
AND DRINK ’TIL WE GET IN A BRAWL<br/>
JUST HOLD ON TIGHT AND YOU’LL<br/>
LEARN HOW TO DROWN YOUR PAIN</p>
<p>LET’S GO AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
I HAVE TO GO L-L-L-L-LURK TONIGHT<br/>
WHITE-WINGS<br/>
WANNA TAKE SOME SWINGS?<br/>
LET’S PLAY UNDER THE MOON LEAVING BITES AND STINGS<br/>
JUST COME AND LURK TONIGHT</p>
<p>(LIGUR makes his way to MICHAEL’s door and ends the song in front of her.)</p>
<p>YOU NEED TO COME LURK TONIGHT<br/>
BE BAD ONLY—AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
JUST TRY AND SMITE ME—AND LURK TONIGHT<br/>
TONIGHT—TONIGHT—TONIGHT!</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="anotherday" name="anotherday"></a>ANOTHER DAY</p>
<p>(The flat.  LIGUR kisses MICHAEL, who recoils.)</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
YOU’VE GOT ME GODDAMNED AWED<br/>
SEEING YOU’D LAY HANDS ON ONE LIKE GOD<br/>
LEAVE ME MY CROSS<br/>
AND TAKE YOUR CHAOS<br/>
I’LL BE SERENE I MEAN<br/>
NO EFFORT MEANS NO LOSS<br/>
I’M NOT FALLEN THAT’S MY LAST SALVE<br/>
GRIT IN YOUR VOICE<br/>
WON’T KILL WHAT I HAVE<br/>
SO TAKE YOUR EYES BURNING CAYENNE<br/>
OUT MY SIGHT THE END AMEN<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU I SHOULD TELL YOU<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU I SHOULD (he places a hand on her shoulder) NO!<br/>
ANOTHER WAR ANOTHER WIN<br/>
A UNIVERSE BEFORE<br/>
YOU THINK THAT TIME HAS BEEN<br/>
BUT IN A SOLDIER’S ARMS<br/>
IS WHERE MY MEMORIES STAY<br/>
GET OUT WITH YOUR CHARMS<br/>
COME BACK ANOTHER DAY<br/>
ANOTHER DAY</p>
<p>LIGUR<br/>
YOUR HELL CAN FREEZE MINE WAS AFLAME<br/>
I WON’T SAY PLEASE—TRUST I CAN’T BLAME<br/>
BUT WOULD YOU RATHER<br/>
RELIVE THE PAST?<br/>
WHY NOT TRY SOMETHING NEW AT LAST?<br/>
NO HUMAN STAYS<br/>
JUST WE’RE IN THIS<br/>
MUST WE STILL BE<br/>
SO PLEASURE’S OURS TO MISS?<br/>
IT’S NOT A LIE<br/>
IT’S A NEW WAY<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
THERE’S NO “WE” IN WHAT I’M IN<br/>
BUT IF YOU’RE SO SURE<br/>
THEN TELL ME WHY YOU SMACK OF SIN?<br/>
TAKE YOUR NEEDLE<br/>
OR I’LL SAY A PRAYER<br/>
I’M MADE OF BRIGHT<br/>
LIGHT YOU REPTILE PAID TO PULL HAIR<br/>
ANGELS FEEL REAL THINGS THAT COME FROM THE HEART<br/>
BUT A DEMON CAN’T AND ONE IS NEVER GONNA START<br/>
ANOTHER WAR ANOTHER WIN<br/>
YOU’D STEAL MY HEART AND MORE<br/>
AND SOMETHING MIGHT HAVE BEEN<br/>
BUT SOME THINGS CANNOT CHANGE<br/>
THEY’LL NEVER BE THAT WAY<br/>
YOU THINK IT’S NOT TOO STRANGE?<br/>
COME BACK ANOTHER DAY<br/>
ANOTHER DAY</p>
<p>LIGUR<br/>
JUST WE’RE IN THIS<br/>
LET’S FLY ALL NIGHT<br/>
YOU’LL STILL BE MADE<br/>
TO SHINE THAT LIGHT<br/>
IT’S DRAWN ME IN<br/>
SO COME AND PLAY<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY</p>
<p>(Lights slowly fade up on the ORMS support group.)</p>
<p>LIGUR AND OTHERS (MICHAEL (to herself, talking out loud))<br/>
SHE CAN’T FULFILL (FULFILL YOUR PURPOSE)<br/>
PLANS YOU AWAIT (FATE’S PLAN’S STILL GREAT)<br/>
ATTEMPT FREE WILL (WHO SAYS WE HAVE FREE WILL?)<br/>
AND YOU’LL FEEL STILL ME TEMPT (approaching MICHAEL who tries to take her hands)<br/>
WHY WAIT (TEMPT NOT MY HATE)<br/>
THERE’S NO MORE WAR (WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?)<br/>
THERE’S NO FALL HERE (ASKING ME TO STRAY SO FAST SO FAR)<br/>
YOU CAN MOVE ON<br/>
GIVE UP THIS FEAR (LEAVE MY CROSS, HEY)<br/>
IT’S NOT A LIE (I BEAR IT OKAY)<br/>
IT’S A NEW WAY</p>
<p>LIGUR<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
THE POWER’S FADED AWAY</p>
<p>ALL (MICHAEL)<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY (I’M NOT FALLEN THAT’S ALL I HAVE)<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY (TAKE YOUR STRONG ARMS, YOUR PIERCING EYES, YOUR SOUND OF SMOKE)<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY (ANOTHER WAR, ANOTHER WIN, A WORLD BEFORE YOU CHOSE TO SIN)<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY (SOMEWHERE WE CAN, ANOTHER WAY, ANOTHER PLAN, ANOTHER DAY)<br/>
NO DAY BUT TODAY</p>
<p>(LIGUR and the ORMS support group members exit.  One angel, REMIEL, remains at stage right, above.)</p>
<p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’M WRITING ONE GREAT SONG BEFORE I …</p>
<p> </p>
<p><a id="willi" name="willi"></a>WILL I</p>
<p>(Various locations.  When each character begins to sing, they appear on various places on the stage.  COMPANY form each group.)</p>
<p>REMIEL<br/>
WILL I LOSE MORE MEMORIES<br/>
WHO HEARS MY PRAYERS<br/>
DID IT EVEN MATTER<br/>
WHAT MORE IS THERE?</p>
<p>GROUP #1<br/>
WILL I LOSE MORE MEMORIES<br/>
WHO HEARS MY PRAYERS<br/>
DID IT EVEN MATTER<br/>
WHAT MORE IS THERE?</p>
<p>GROUP #2 AND MICHAEL<br/>
WILL I LOSE MORE MEMORIES<br/>
WHO HEARS MY PRAYERS<br/>
DID IT EVEN MATTER<br/>
WHAT MORE IS THERE?</p>
<p>GROUP #3, GOD, AND BEELZEBUB<br/>
WILL I LOSE MORE MEMORIES<br/>
WHO HEARS MY PRAYERS<br/>
DID IT EVEN MATTER<br/>
WHAT MORE IS THERE?</p>
<p>GROUP #4, CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE, LIGUR (in his flat)<br/>
WILL I LOSE MORE MEMORIES<br/>
WHO HEARS MY PRAYERS<br/>
DID IT EVEN MATTER<br/>
WHAT MORE IS THERE?</p>
<p>(MICHAEL puts on her jacket and exits the flat.)</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>This week’s poster art by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scrumptious_Bastard">Scrumptious_Bastard</a>: <i>Michael and Ligur</i></b>
  </p>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>xx <a href="http://siliconealien.tumblr.com">siliconealien</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Scene 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Crowley and Aziraphale declare their love.  Do you know the way to the South Downs?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Important:</b> If you have not noticed, due to the limitations of a script format and no sheet music, lines that are sung simultaneously have been written as consecutive paragraphs.</p><p>"Beginning to Snow" is our version of "Christmas Bells" IN ITS ENTIRETY.  If you are familiar with RENT then you have some idea how insane this is.  It took me a full week to write it.  So when you get to the last song and it looks like ten pages of chaos, I assure you: there is a method to my madness.  If you listen to the song enough times, you will eventually pick out every verse ;)</p><p>I am incredibly happy with this chapter.  Enjoy!</p><p><b><a href="#leapoffaith">CLICK HERE FOR MORE FANART</a> from <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeapOfFaith1489">LeapOfFaith1489</a>!</b>  She illustrated "Another Day" and I love it so much!</p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SONGS ON THIS PAGE<br/>
<a href="#onthestreet">On the Street</a><br/>
<a href="#southdownsway">South Downs Way</a><br/>
<a href="#illcoveryou">I’ll Cover You</a><br/>
<a href="#wereokay">We’re Okay</a><br/>
<a href="#beginningtosnow">Beginning to Snow</a></p><p> </p><p><a id="onthestreet" name="onthestreet"></a>ON THE STREET</p><p>(COMPANY take on the roles of homeless people.  GOD, AZIRAPHALE, and CROWLEY remain onstage in between the crowd.)</p><p>THREE HOMELESS BEINGS<br/>
SOMEWHERE WE COULD TAKE WING<br/>
SOMEWHERE WE COULD TAKE WING<br/>
SOMEWHERE WE COULD TAKE WING<br/>
OUT OF TOWN<br/>
SOUTH DOWNS WAY</p><p>ANGEL PROSTITUTE<br/>
You looking to “fly”?</p><p>(He recoils as though he’s almost been run over by a car.)</p><p>And peace be with you.</p><p>(Three POLICE OFFICERS, in full riot gear, enter and approach sleeping BLANKET DEMON—the FIRST OFFICER pokes her with a nightstick.)</p><p>HOMELESS BEING<br/>
Evening, officers.</p><p>(Without answering, the FIRST OFFICER raises his nightstick again.)</p><p>GOD<br/>
(pointing her camera)<br/>
“The meek shall inherit,” Officer Martin.</p><p>(The FIRST OFFICER lowers his stick.)</p><p>HOMELESS BEING<br/>
AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOUR FAMILY</p><p>POLICE OFFICERS<br/>
Right.</p><p>(The POLICE OFFICERS stride offstage.  GOD continues to film BLANKET DEMON.)</p><p>BLANKET DEMON<br/>
(to GOD)<br/>
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?<br/>
SATAN KNOWS I NEED NO HELP<br/>
FROM SOME HYPOCRITE USELESS GOD<br/>
MY HELL’S NOT FOR YOU TO<br/>
TRY TO FORGIVE YOURSELF ON</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
EASY, HEY NOW, EASY<br/>
SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO</p><p>BLANKET DEMON<br/>
JUST TRYING TO LOSE THAT SHE PUT ME HERE<br/>
YOU’RE NOT ONE TO TALK, ANGEL-LOVER<br/>
Let’s go, this lot is full of<br/>
Motherfucking pious<br/>
Hey, “Pious”<br/>
This still your Great Plan?<br/>
I thought not</p><p>(BLANKET DEMON crosses to downstage left with another HOMELESS BEING.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="southdownsway" name="southdownsway"></a>SOUTH DOWNS WAY</p><p>(The street.)</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
(laughing tentatively)<br/>
God Almighty.</p><p>GOD<br/>
Uh-huh?</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
MAKER OF THE UNIVERSE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Sing it, dear—</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
FAN OF DOUBT, ME (putting his arm around GOD)<br/>
BUT YOU SURELY HEARD FOR IT I’M CURSED</p><p>GOD<br/>
I earned that.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
OF MY ASKS I’VE STILL ONE<br/>
THOUGH I KNOW NOTHING’S GONE TO YOUR PLAN<br/>
IS THERE SOMEPLACE BETTER FOR ALL US TO RUN<br/>
WHERE TOGETHER COULD WE FIND “PROMISED LAND”?</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Well, let’s plan it.<br/>
(stops GOD from leaving.  CROWLEY sits on a chair, sprawled ridiculously.)<br/>
AS IT STANDS MY TALE ON EARTH IS A DISASTER<br/>
AFTER TIME IT FEELS THERE’S NOTHING MORE TO KNOW (sits GOD down)<br/>
GHOSTS OF FICTION COME AT NIGHT OR EVEN FASTER<br/>
ALL MY MISERY FADES I FEEL RIGHT AND SO<br/>
LET’S OPEN A SMALL BOOKSHOP ON THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY<br/>
WON’T SUNSET ON THE CHALK HILLS BE NICE?<br/>
LET’S OPEN A SMALL BOOKSHOP ON THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY<br/>
LEAVE CLASSES TO THE STUDY OF VICE<br/>
OH-OH</p><p>ALL<br/>
OH</p><p>(AZIRAPHALE takes CROWLEY’s hand and pulls him up.)</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
You teach?</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I teach, the classics and philosophy.<br/>
But my students would hate to think too deep.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
So mortals then.</p><p>ALL<br/>
So mortals then.</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I CAN PICTURE IT ALL NOW<br/>
AS YOU’D ENTERTAIN AND HOW<br/>
THE BOOKS WOULD BE DUSTED NEAT AND IN PILES<br/>
IN THE BACK YOU’D GROW SOME PLANTS (spins CROWLEY round)<br/>
PLAY YOUR ACT WITH SPOOKY CHANTS<br/>
COCOA BREWS FOR ME AS I READ SOME WILDE<br/>
(with HOMELESS ENTITIES in the shadows)<br/>
LET’S OPEN A SMALL BOOKSHOP ON THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY<br/>
OUR EDEN COULD BE ASSEMBLED THERE</p><p>ALL<br/>
THERE, THERE, THERE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
WE’LL OPEN A SMALL BOOKSHOP ON THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY<br/>
AND LEARN WHAT HUMANS MEAN BY SELF-CARE</p><p>HOMELESS<br/>
BY SELF-CARE</p><p>ALL<br/>
WE’LL MAKE A REASON MORE THAN JUST TO SIN OR PRAY<br/>
WHO SAYS WE CAN’T HAVE A WILL THAT’S FREE<br/>
WE’LL OPEN A SMALL BOOKSHOP ON THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY<br/>
LEAVE LONDON TO THE SORROWS IT’S SEEN</p><p>ALL<br/>
OH</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
WHAT’S THERE LEFT TO SAY—THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY?<br/>
YOU KNOW, NEAR THE BEACH … FEED SOME DUCKS …<br/>
YEAH</p><p> </p><p><a id="illcoveryou" name="illcoveryou"></a>I’LL COVER YOU</p><p>GOD<br/>
I’LL MEET YOU AT GABE’S SHOW<br/>
I’LL TRY AND CONVINCE MICHAEL TO GO<br/>
(GOD exits)</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Alone at last.</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
She’s fond of you, I can tell.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
(deflecting)<br/>
I hope you don’t want me to slow down.</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
No.  Not even if our sides had stayed at war.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Angel … we’re on our side!<br/>
STAY SAFE AND WARM<br/>
MY WINGS YOUR SHELTER<br/>
JUST SAY THE WORD<br/>
TO WALK BLESSED GROUND FOR YOU<br/>
STILL AS I BURN I’LL COVER YOU</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
YOU LEAD THE WAY<br/>
THROUGH FIRES UNHOLY<br/>
DON’T HAVE MUCH IN ME<br/>
TO LAY ANY WARDS<br/>
BUT TOWARDS THE END TO SEE YOUR FORM<br/>
THOUGH I SCORCH—I’LL COVER YOU</p><p>BOTH<br/>
SOME TYPES BELIEVE IT<br/>
THAT A SOUL SOLD CAN BUY LOVE<br/>
BUT AN ANGEL CAN SENSE IT<br/>
AND THERE’S NO CONTRACT, MY LOVE<br/>
MY WORLD BE MY WORLD</p><p>(They do a short dance.)</p><p>JUST SLIP ME ON<br/>
I’LL BE YOUR HALO<br/>
UNBROKEN OR BROKEN IT’S ALL THE SAME</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
YOU’LL BE MY THRONE<br/>
AND I’LL BE YOUR HEAVEN</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
NO YOU’RE MY WISE SNAKE<br/>
THAT I DARE NOT TAME</p><p>BOTH<br/>
SOME TYPES BELIEVE IT<br/>
THAT A SOUL SOLD CAN BUY LOVE<br/>
BUT AN ANGEL CAN SENSE IT<br/>
AND THERE’S NO CONTRACT, MY LOVE<br/>
MY WORLD TO THE WORLD<br/>
I’VE LONGED TO DISCOVER<br/>
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS LIKE THIS</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
SO WITH SIX THOUSAND SWEET KISSES<br/>
I’LL COVER YOU<br/>
WITH SIX THOUSAND SWEET KISSES<br/>
I’LL COVER YOU</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
IF YOU’RE LOCKED<br/>
IN A TOWER<br/>
YOU’VE GOT ALMOST NO POWER<br/>
WITH SIX THOUSAND SWEET KISSES<br/>
I’LL COVER YOU<br/>
WITH SIX THOUSAND SWEET KISSES<br/>
I’LL COVER YOU</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
WHEN YOU’RE TESTED<br/>
AND TIRED<br/>
WHEN YOUR FAITH HAS EXPIRED</p><p>BOTH<br/>
OH LOVER I’LL COVER YOU<br/>
OH LOVER I’LL COVER YOU</p><p>(CROWLEY throws his arms around AZIRAPHALE.  They exit as do the HOMELESS ENTITIES.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="wereokay" name="wereokay"></a>WE’RE OKAY</p><p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
(on mobile phone)<br/>
REM? IT’S ME<br/>
THE LOMAX CASE?<br/>
AN AQUITTAL<br/>
BAD WORK, MY LEARNED FIEND<br/>
(The pay phone rings.  BEELZEBUB answers it and begins a conversation with GABRIEL simultaneously juggling two other calls on their mobile phone.)<br/>
WE’RE OKAY<br/>
GABRIEL, WAIT!<br/>
I’M ON THE OTHER PHONE<br/>
YES, I CLEANED YOUR SPIT VALVE<br/>
WE’RE OKAY<br/>
(into mobile phone)<br/>
SO TELL THEM WE’LL SUE<br/>
BUT A SETTLEMENT WILL DO<br/>
INSECT-OID FORENSICS AND DEMONS’ RIGHTS, TOO<br/>
REM, THAT’S GREAT<br/>
(into pay phone)<br/>
NO, DON’T SHOWER AT MY PLACE<br/>
DID YOU MUCK UP ALL MY SOAP WITH YOUR GRACE?<br/>
WE’RE OKAY<br/>
GABE, WAIT—HOLD ON<br/>
(into mobile phone)<br/>
REM, I NEED TO, HOLD ON<br/>
(BEELZEBUB presses the call-waiting button on the mobile phone.)<br/>
HAIL BEAST?<br/>
MAZE—YES<br/>
I BEEPED YOU<br/>
BLESSED RIGHT I’M SPENDING MY NEW YEAR’S WITH HIM<br/>
WE’RE OKAY<br/>
(into pay phone)<br/>
GABRIEL—WHAT?<br/>
ABBADON SCREWED ANGELS<br/>
I’LL TELL THEM<br/>
(into mobile phone)<br/>
YOU HEARD?<br/>
(into pay phone)<br/>
THEY HEARD<br/>
WE’RE OKAY<br/>
(into mobile phone)<br/>
AND TO YOU TWO<br/>
(BEELZEBUB presses the call-waiting button as they speak into the pay phone)<br/>
YES—GABE, YOU PRAYED<br/>
(into mobile phone)<br/>
REM, GOTTA—<br/>
(into pay phone)<br/>
GABE, ARE YOU AT MY PLACE?<br/>
YOU LIAR, YOU’D “SAVE” ME<br/>
(into mobile phone)<br/>
REM, GOTTA GO<br/>
(into pay phone)<br/>
YOU’D CHANGE ME, I HEARD THE KYRIE!<br/>
WE’RE<br/>
WE’RE OKAY<br/>
I’M ON MY WAY</p><p>(Slams down the pay phone and flips their mobile phone shut at the same time.  Exits.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="beginningtosnow" name="beginningtosnow"></a>BEGINNING TO SNOW</p><p>(Various locations, Covent Garden.)</p><p>FIVE HOMELESS ENTITIES<br/>
POWER LEFT TO TAKE WING<br/>
POWER LEFT TO TAKE WING<br/>
POWER LEFT TO TAKE WING<br/>
FOR THE FEW—GOD BLESS</p><p>ANGEL PROSTITUTE<br/>
TRY REAL FLYING, TRY REAL FLYING<br/>
TRY REAL FLYING, TRY REAL FLYING<br/>
TRY REAL FLYING, TRY REAL FLYING</p><p>ALL FIVE HOMELESS<br/>
CAN’T YOU SPARE A SPARK OR TWO<br/>
WE’RE JUST MORE MISTAKES OF GOD’S LIKE YOU<br/>
WE’RE ANGELIC<br/>
WE’RE DEMONIC<br/>
OR HUMAN BECAUSE THE CONDITION’S CHRONIC<br/>
NO MORE HELL<br/>
NO PLACE TO GO<br/>
NO HEAVEN<br/>
NO WORSHIP<br/>
NO CURSES<br/>
NO CHURCH<br/>
NO</p><p>SOLOIST<br/>
SON WHO WAS PLANNED TO SAVE THEM</p><p>ALL FIVE<br/>
SON WHO WAS PLANNED TO SAVE THEM<br/>
WOULD THERE STILL BE POVERTY AND DESPAIR<br/>
IF GOD HAD BEEN LEFT TO CARE?</p><p>(The stage suddenly explodes with life.  The scene is Covent Garden—an open-air bazaar of color, noise, and movement.  Along with the COMPANY, GOD, CROWLEY, AZIRAPHALE enter.)</p><p>VENDORS<br/>
Fur, myrrh, lights, blights<br/>
Miracles, on the whole<br/>
Phone line rides, lust and pride<br/>
Shards of stars, shreds of souls</p><p>VENDOR #1<br/>
MONEY’S MAGICKED<br/>
GODDAMN HAT TRICK</p><p>ALL<br/>
NO INNS LETTING IMMORTALS RENT, OH NO<br/>
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW</p><p>(Lights up on one woman or possibly woman-shaped entity, who is showing off a collection of stolen books to AZIRAPHALE and CROWLEY.)</p><p>VENDOR #2<br/>
I GOT DANIELLE STEEL<br/>
AND STEPHEN KING<br/>
BOTH OF THEM WROTE BESTSELLERS LAST YEAR<br/>
OR FIRST AMONG<br/>
EQUALS MIGHT BE THE ONE OR<br/>
SEQUELS BY V. C.<br/>
ANDREWS IN HERE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO MORE</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
(He picks up Jeffrey Archer’s First Among Equals and inspects the cover.)<br/>
THIS ONE SMELLS FAMILIAR</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I FEEL LIKE I’VE KNOWN YOU, CROWLEY<br/>
SAVE—SAVE<br/>
YOU SAVED ME<br/>
YOU SAVE<br/>
SAVE ME AS NO GOD COULD<br/>
HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD?</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
WAIT—THEY’RE NOT ALL DUMB<br/>
LET’S FIND THE ONE<br/>
NO—NO—NO—NO<br/>
ANGEL—IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW (exit both)</p><p>(Lights focus on GOD and MICHAEL on right above.)</p><p>GOD<br/>
YOU GAVE HIM A LIGHT WITH MAGIC<br/>
AND HE GAVE YOU A SMIRK<br/>
AND HE WANTED YOU<br/>
TO COME AND LURK TONIGHT?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Right.</p><p>GOD<br/>
It didn’t work?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
HE WAS NICE ON THE EYES<br/>
MUCH TO MY OWN SURPRISE<br/>
BUT FROM HELL IT’S AS WELL<br/>
IF ALL WE WERE MADE TO DO IS JUST FIGHT</p><p>GOD<br/>
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT HOW CAN YOU STILL CARE</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
DON’T GO THERE—IT’S WHAT IT IS<br/>
AND THAT GAME WAS YOURS AT LEAST PLAY FAIR<br/>
(LIGUR has entered looking furtively for THE MAN.)<br/>
THERE—THAT’S HIM</p><p>GOD<br/>
It’s Gabe?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
LIGUR</p><p>GOD<br/>
Whoa!</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
BEHOLD—LO</p><p>GOD<br/>
HEY—IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW</p><p>(The POLICE OFFICERS, in riot gear, enter.)</p><p>POLICE OFFICERS<br/>
FIRST CLEAN OUT THE OCCULT HOMELESS</p><p>(POLICE OFFICERS exit.)</p><p>LIGUR AND JUNKIES<br/>
FOLLOW THE MAN FOLLOW THE MAN<br/>
MAKE US LESS LOST WITHOUT A PLAN<br/>
FOLLOW THE MAN FOLLOW THE MAN<br/>
BREAD OF LIFE, FEED ME<br/>
IF YOU CAN<br/>
GOT XTC MAN?</p><p>THE MAN<br/>
I’m cool</p><p>LIGUR AND JUNKIES<br/>
NO NOT THE PILLS MAN</p><p>THE MAN<br/>
I’m cool</p><p>LIGUR AND JUNKIES<br/>
GOT ANY SOULS?<br/>
ANY SMACK?<br/>
ANY CRACK?<br/>
ANY REAL DEMONIC DEALS?<br/>
ANY BLOW?</p><p>(MICHAEL pulls LIGUR aside.)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
(comfortingly)<br/>
HEY</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
HEY</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
MY SHIELD’S PUT AWAY<br/>
I’VE DONE THIS THE WRONG WAY</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I don’t care.</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
LET’S TRY NEW<br/>
CAN I MAKE IT UP TO YOU?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
HOW?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
WE’LL GET SOZZLED?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
THAT’LL DO</p><p>THE MAN<br/>
HEY SPARKLE-FACE BEST YOU LEARN<br/>
POSSESS MY DEMON YOU BURN</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
YOU WON’T CALL ON ME OR SUMMON HIM<br/>
NOT WHEN YOU’VE STILL GOT ALL OF THEM</p><p>(LIGUR tries to step in but MICHAEL grabs his coat and calmly leads him offstage.)</p><p>JUNKIES<br/>
NO POWER<br/>
GONE SOUR<br/>
I GOTTA GET SOME MAGIC FAST<br/>
HOLY HELL, HORSEMEN RIDE<br/>
FLAMED AND FELL, AND SHE LIED—LANDED LOW</p><p>THE MAN<br/>
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO SNOW</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
(entering, talking on his mobile phone)<br/>
I can’t help it, Dagon<br/>
These bastards are on!</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
THEN ANNE RICE<br/>
NAME YOUR PRICE<br/>
EVERYONE READS DEAN<br/>
KOONTZ NOW</p><p>JUNKIES<br/>
GOT XTC MAN?<br/>
NO NOT THE PILLS MAN<br/>
GOT ANY DEALS MAN?<br/>
GOT ANY CRACK?<br/>
GOT ANY SMACK?</p><p>ANGEL PROSTITUTE<br/>
TRY REAL FLYING—</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Remember Ligur?</p><p>GOD/LIGUR<br/>
Right</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
He’ll be drinking with us</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
THESE ARE OLD EDITIONS</p><p>THE MAN<br/>
THOSE SPELLS ARE DARK</p><p>VENDORS<br/>
White light, spite</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Look—my books!</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
COME NOW DON’T NARC</p><p>GOD<br/>
You’re looking well</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
I’LL BUY THEM BACK FOR YOU</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
SHE’S A TROLL</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
Just gone through Hell</p><p>THE MAN<br/>
I SAID THEY’RE REAL SOULS!</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
BUT IT’S A SHAM!</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
SHE’LL HAVE BAD LUCK I <i>PROMISSSSE</i></p><p>HASTUR<br/>
Wait, what happened to Eric??</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
I’M SOFT FOR THAT HISS</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
He’s dead and cold?!</p><p>(The following is sung simultaneously.)</p><p>HOMELESS AND VENDORS<br/>
POWER LEFT TO MAKE THINGS<br/>
POWER LEFT TO TAKE WING<br/>
POWER LEFT FOR FAKING<br/>
DOPAMINE—TOO LEAN<br/>
HELP US ONCE AND RUN AWAY<br/>
EN ROUTE TO THE SOUTH DOWNS WAY<br/>
YOU’LL FEEL GOOD THEN<br/>
I’LL FEEL GOOD THEN<br/>
AT LEAST UNTIL I GO TO THE PEN<br/>
NO MORE HELL<br/>
NO HEAVEN LEFT<br/>
NOR HOUSES FOR POOR HUMANS<br/>
NO DOSH, NO BLESSINGS<br/>
NO HELLFIRE KEEPING ALL THE DEMONS WARM<br/>
HELLFIRE KEEPING ALL THE DEMONS WARM<br/>
NO INNS LETTING IMMORTALS RENT, OH NO</p><p>POLICE OFFICERS<br/>
THEN MOVE OUT ALL THESE BROKE JOKE HUMANS<br/>
WE’LL FIX THIS PROBLEM IN SOHO<br/>
IT’S NOT HELL JUST A CELL<br/>
LA NA NA NA LA NA NA NA<br/>
BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SAY<br/>
ANYTHING “KING OF KINGS”<br/>
BREAK DOWN YOUR TENT AND THEN SAY CIAO<br/>
WRAP UP RIGHT NOW<br/>
LA NA NA NA NA<br/>
LA NA NA NA NA</p><p>JUNKIES<br/>
GOT XTC MAN?<br/>
NOT THE PILL KIND MAN<br/>
RELIGIOUSLY MAN<br/>
SETTLED FOR SMACK, CRACK<br/>
NO POWER GONE SOUR<br/>
GOTTA GET SOME MAGIC FAST<br/>
G-D HEAL ME<br/>
FOLLOW THE MAN FOLLOW THE MAN<br/>
FOLLOW THE MAN<br/>
HOLY WATER HOLY WATER<br/>
FOLLOW THE MAN FOLLOW THE MAN<br/>
ANY SOULS MAKE ME WHOLE ANY HOLY WATER BOY<br/>
ANY BLOW MAKE ME WHOLE ANY HOLY WATER BOY<br/>
GOT XTC MAN, NOT THE PILL KIND MAN<br/>
GOT ANY CRACK, MAKE ME WHOLE, ANY HOLY WATER?</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Forty-two</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Forty-two</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
There’s lots!<br/>
Forty-one</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Forty-one</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Not a shot<br/>
Thirty-nine</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Thirty-nine</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty<br/>
They’re old</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Thirty-eight</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Thirty-five</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Thirty-two</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Thirty</p><p>BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Thirty</p><p>CROWLEY AND BOOK VENDOR<br/>
Sold!</p><p>GOD AND MICHAEL<br/>
LET’S<br/>
GO<br/>
TO<br/>
THE LOT WHERE GABE’S PERFORMING</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
Who is Gabe?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Her ex</p><p>GOD<br/>
HE OWES ME “EVERYTHING”</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
(LIGUR tries to put his arm around her.)<br/>
LET ME WARM UP FIRST</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
OH, WE’RE STILL MOURNING?</p><p>ALL THREE (GOD/LIGUR/MICHAEL)<br/>
SHE/YOU/I<br/>
JUST<br/>
NEED(S)<br/>
A BURN THAT’S SLOW<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU I SHOULD TELL YOU<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU I SHOULD TELL YOU<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU I</p><p>ALL<br/>
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO<br/>
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO<br/>
AND IT’S BEGINNING TO</p><p>(Lights blackout and a blinding headlight comes through the door.  As it reaches downstage, the lights come up and reveal GABRIEL.)</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Beezy, which way to the stage?</p><p>ALL<br/>
SNOW!</p><p>(Blackout)</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <a id="leapoffaith" name="leapoffaith"></a>
    <b>Fanart by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeapOfFaith1489">LeapOfFaith1489</a>!</b>
  </p>
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>xx <a href="http://siliconealien.tumblr.com">siliconealien</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Scene 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>We finally see Gabriel.  Michael and Ligur open up.  Viva la vie sans fin!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Enjoy the finale of Act I!!</b>  We'll be back soon!</p><div class="center">
  <p>
    
  </p>
</div></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SONGS ON THIS PAGE<br/>
<a href="#trumpetthenews">Trumpet the News</a><br/>
<a href="#laviesansfin">La Vie Sans Fin</a><br/>
<a href="#ishouldtellyou">I Should Tell You</a><br/>
<a href="#laviesansfinb">La Vie Sans Fin (B)</a></p><p> </p><p><a id="trumpetthenews" name="trumpetthenews"></a>TRUMPET THE NEWS</p><p>(The lot.  GABRIEL carries a trumpet and is dressed as a mod-style 1960s rude boy, and it is apparent he feels this is very cool and modern.)</p><p>GOD<br/>
What you’ve waited for.</p><p>GABRIEL (in front of a microphone)<br/>
Last night I had a dream.  I found myself in a desert from Exodus.<br/>
I don’t sleep—it’s one of those meta-things, enjoy the (dramatically) genius.<br/>
Upon the hot earth walked a man: Moses.<br/>
(aside) I did never get credit for this one.<br/>
I said, “OBEY MY VOICE FOR TO ROAM SAFE<br/>
GOD RIGHT DOWN THERE—</p><p>(He points GOD out in the crowd.  She is embarrassed by this.)</p><p>HATH SENT ME TO—</p><p>(blows a note on his trumpet—badly, but he does not realize)</p><p>(into the microphone which echoes) Canaan lead.”<br/>
I said, “HOME THE LORD PROVIDES AS I TRUMPET THE NEWS<br/>
I KNOW YOU’VE WANDERED TOO LONG … TO RUN AWAY FROM EGYPTIAN LANDLORDS<br/>
AND LAST THING YOU NEED IS lies and deals and—</p><p>(blows his trumpet)</p><p>(into microphone) demons with frogs.<br/>
But there is a way out.”</p><p>BACKUPS<br/>
KEEP THE FAITH, KEEP THE FAITH<br/>
KEEP THE FAITH, KEEP THE FAITH</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
OH, OH, “HOME THE LORD PROVIDES AS I TRUMPET THE NEWS”<br/>
I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!<br/>
IT’S LIKE I’M BEING FORCED TO CONSUME SOME GROSS MATTER PEOPLE EAT<br/>
HAVING PACKED SAND IN GOD-ONLY-KNOWS<br/>
AND SPLIT ENDS FROM DUST-DRY AIR AND NOBODY EVEN TOOK MY NAME!<br/>
I’VE GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA, GOTTA FLY ON OUT AS I TRUMPET THE NEWS<br/>
HOME THE LORD PROVIDES AS I TRUMPET THE NEWS</p><p>BACKUPS<br/>
KEEP THE FAITH, etc.</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Then a worthless Fallen appeared.  His name, we have learned, was Hastur.</p><p>(BEELZEBUB and HASTUR both react to this in the crowd.  HASTUR is merely annoyed but possibly amused … BEELZEBUB is NOT happy.)</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
And although he once was heavenly,<br/>
He abandoned us to live as one of the filthy Dukes and Princes of the revolution.</p><p>(BEELZEBUB exits.  GABRIEL does not notice.)</p><p>A one-two-three,<br/>
“That’s bull,” Hastur said.<br/>
“SOME BROKE ANGELS AIN’T GOT NOTHING ON THAT STORY SO bugger.<br/>
And Naomi and Ruth were evicted fair and square and eloped …<br/>
THAT WHOLE MOTHER-IN-LAW ACT WAS NO GOOD COVER SINCE<br/>
It was all a sapphic thing.<br/>
‘CAUSE WHO’D WANT TO LEAVE THE DESERT ANYWAY? …<br/>
Heat ain’t so bad.<br/>
Naomi and Ruth for instance,<br/>
They’re down on their luck, they come knocking on my hellhole door,<br/>
I said, “You can’t play me for a sucker!  Go back to Lesbos!”<br/>
THE ONLY WAY OUT IS UP, I say unto you now,<br/>
TO KEEP THE FAITH.  Still roaming?  Look—<br/>
Canaan’s here.<br/>
You’re set to build tents and busk here,<br/>
But don’t forget that you hold old power<br/>
And if you believe then you can conceive.</p><p>(blows a ridiculously long note on his trumpet)</p><p>GET ON BOARD, I pray.<br/>
And as a starless sky falls over Compton Street,<br/>
No fear must remain for what God granted—<br/>
Having war to win it,<br/>
And I’m yet singing … (the box doesn’t play the backup) Singing?  Fuck. (kicks the box)</p><p>BACKUPS<br/>
KEEP THE FAITH, etc.</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
HOME THE LORD PROVIDES<br/>
HOME THE LORD PROVIDES AS I<br/>
HOME THE LORD PROVIDES AS I TRUMPET THE NEWS<br/>
HOME THE LORD PROVIDES AS I TRUMPET THE NEWS<br/>
TRUMPET THE NEWS<br/>
TRUMPET THE—<br/>
(he blows a few long notes on his trumpet)</p><p>Blow with me.</p><p>(GABRIEL encourages the audience to make trumpet sounds with their mouths.  He says, “C’mon, ma’am, just say ‘brrrap,’” etc.  The audience responds.  When the trumpeting reaches a crescendo, he cuts them off with a big sweep of his arms.)<br/>
Thank you!</p><p>(Blackout)</p><p> </p><p><a id="laviesansfin" name="laviesansfin"></a>LA VIE SANS FIN A</p><p>(The Admiral Duncan.)</p><p>(Downstage right, the PRINCIPALS have lined up and are waiting to be seated.  A large table is situated down center.  Down and to the right, HASTUR is seated at a smaller table.  The BARTENDER tries to shoo our friends out.)</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
(coming out from behind the bar)<br/>
DAMN NOT THIS<br/>
I’M NOT STOCKED FOR THIS<br/>
WHEN YOUR KIND GET PISSED<br/>
YOU WIPE OUT THE WHOLE PUB CLEAN</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
What?  (She and LIGUR stroll past the BARTENDER to find a table.)</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
OUT YOU GO<br/>
YOU—HEY, HASTUR<br/>
I SAID NO<br/>
IMPORTANT CUSTOMER</p><p>GOD<br/>
Sorry, who made the world?</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
YOU DRINK ME OUT AND THEN CAN’T PAY</p><p>GOD<br/>
TOSH I SAY—YESTERDAY<br/>
I EVEN LEFT YOU CHANGE TO TAKE</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
YOUR MONEY’S FAKE</p><p>GOD<br/>
Oh, yeah.</p><p>(Everyone pushes past the BARTENDER to follow LIGUR and MICHAEL.)</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
My dear boy, Hastur, to drink?  Here?</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
OH SHITE</p><p>ALL<br/>
The ten-year!</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
THE DEVIL OF ANGELS OF SOHO<br/>
OUR FOE</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
HIMBO</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
What brings the highest of old Downstairs where the lowest go?</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
Let me just say I am impressed<br/>
A bastard who’s that flash<br/>
Has not Fell.</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Go to Hell.</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
OUCH IF ONLY I COULD<br/>
HOW FAR HAS IT GOT YOU<br/>
TO KEEP FAKING BEING GOOD?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Why did Shark-face—</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
It’s Dagon.</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
Miss the show?</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
There was a death—one of our staff<br/>
If you must know.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
Who died?</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
He’s our cleaner.</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
I’ve seen her.</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
LIGUR I’M SURPRISED<br/>
A DARK AND DEADLY THING LIKE YOU<br/>
HANGS OUT WITH THESE WANKERS<br/>
WHO DON’T KNOW A GOOD DEAL<br/>
THEY ALL JUDGE ‘CAUSE I WON’T BUDGE<br/>
WHEN HUMANS CRY ‘BOUT THEIR SOULS<br/>
OR DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN FEEL WHOLE<br/>
WHEN POWER’S LOW AND YOU KNOW GOD WON’T HELP?<br/>
NO HEAVEN SENT, NO HELL TO RENT<br/>
THE MIGHTY POUND STAYS INSTEAD<br/>
LEARN FROM THE MORTALS<br/>
OUR WAY OF LIFE IS DEAD</p><p>(The IMMORTALS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with GOD delivering the “eulogy.”)</p><p>GOD<br/>
ALL OF MY CHILDREN MANIFEST HERE TO SAY OUR GOODBYES</p><p>AZIRAPHALE AND MICHAEL<br/>
Dies iræ, dies illa<br/>
Kyrie eleison<br/>
Yitgadal v’yitkadash</p><p>GOD<br/>
HERE SHE LIES<br/>
EVERYTHING WE ARE<br/>
IN YEARS MADE ONLY SIX THOUSAND FAR<br/>
FOR THE COURSE I SUPPOSE YOU THINK SUBPAR<br/>
NOW YOU TELL US TO CONFORM SO THEN<br/>
WE RAISE A TOAST—THE HOLY GHOST SAYS—<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>ALL<br/>
(simultaneously whilst GOD sings)<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>GOD<br/>
TO SONGS OF EXULTATION<br/>
PRAYING, HOPING, FORMING SOMETHING OUT OF DARKNESS<br/>
THE NEED TO FILL VOIDS<br/>
WITH THE STARS WE BUILT<br/>
TO SAYING LET THERE BE LIGHT<br/>
TAKING TO FLIGHT<br/>
MAKING DAYS</p><p>TO HOLDING ALL THAT’S, THE FALL-FLATS<br/>
TO THOSE WHO’D NEVER COME BACK<br/>
TO LUCI AND HIS HIJACK<br/>
NEVER IN LOVE LACK, NEVER MY HEART BLACK<br/>
THOUGH IT DOES RACK OF COURSE<br/>
NEVER I GO SO IT STAYS</p><p>TO HAVING NO HOME<br/>
FEELING AS YOU DIM YOUR GLOW<br/>
AND LO, WITH NOTHING TO SHOW<br/>
JUST SAY HELLO TO CHOICE<br/>
MIGHT AS WELL REJOICE<br/>
TO A NEW WAY GIVE PRAISE<br/>
TO BEING ALL US ONE SIDE—A PLAN GREATER THAN!</p><p>(The bar erupts into chaos as the IMMORTALS start to dance.)</p><p>ALL<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>(BEELZEBUB enters.)</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
IS THE EQUIPMENT IN A PYRAMID?</p><p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
SOMETHING LIKE THAT</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
I TRIED TO POLISH OFF THE GRACE<br/>
DON’T GIVE ME THAT FACE</p><p>(GABRIEL smacks BEELZEBUB’s arse as they exit.  HASTUR reacts.)</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
Ugh!</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
HEY KERMIT—WISH YOU’D HIT IT?</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
SO THAT’S FIVE PINOT NOIR, FOUR SAUVIGNON BLANC<br/>
THREE SCOTCH TEN-YEAR BOTTLES, TWO SEX ON THE BEACHES<br/>
AND ONE COCKTAIL MIXED WITH DATE PALMS</p><p>AN ANGEL<br/>
Ew!</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
IT’S NOT TOO SWEET</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
Uh, compared to what?</p><p>BARTENDER<br/>
SO NO ONE WANTS FOOD TO EAT?<br/>
IS THAT IT HERE?</p><p>ALL<br/>
(shouting, hitting the table with their fists)<br/>
Wine and beer!</p><p>LIGUR AND CROWLEY<br/>
(getting on the table and dancing)<br/>
TO ALCOHOL IN AMOUNTS EXTRAORDINARY<br/>
TO DUNGEONS, TO DRAGONS, TO COCAINE AND FOUL FIENDS<br/>
TO DARBY SABINI, TO BILL HILL “SOHO’S KING”<br/>
TO OPIUM DENS WHERE WE NEVER FELT A THING (getting down)</p><p>GABRIEL AND AZIRAPHALE<br/>
(climbing on the table)<br/>
AMBROSIAN DEVOTION, TO FLY ABOVE THE OCEAN<br/>
CREATION, SENSATION</p><p>GOD<br/>
JUST TRIED MASTURBATION</p><p>GABRIEL AND AZIRAPHALE<br/>
COMPASSION, TO PASSION, TO FASHION WHEN BESPOKE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
TO BEBOP</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
TO BEHAN</p><p>FOUR ENTITIES<br/>
TO SPENDING CENTURIES BROKE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE AND MICHAEL (jumping on the table and playing air guitar)<br/>
DYLAN THOMAS, CONSTABLE AND WILDE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
Miracles.</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
When there’s power.</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Thwarting wiles!</p><p>A DEMON<br/>
To wiling!</p><p>ANOTHER DEMON<br/>
To styling</p><p>AN ANGEL<br/>
TO RECONCILING, TOO</p><p>GOD AND LIGUR<br/>
(The table is cleared.  LIGUR jumps up and walks along.  GOD walks alongside the table.)<br/>
WHY AFTER STORMS GO SO WE ALL SEE A RAINBOW<br/>
LET’S NOT DO THAT AGAIN (LIGUR jumps off)</p><p>ALL<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>(BEELZEBUB returns.)</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
DON’T LET YOUR FLIES FILL UP THE BAGS YOU PACK</p><p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
FINE, OKAY</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Well—hurry back.</p><p>(GABRIEL and BEELZEBUB kiss.)</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
Fallen?</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
In love.</p><p>(CROWLEY jumps on top of AZIRAPHALE, who’s on the table.  They kiss.)</p><p>CROWLEY, AZIRAPHALE, GABRIEL, GOD, HASTUR<br/>
Falling!</p><p>GOD, CROWLEY, LIGUR, AND THREE OTHERS (on the table)<br/>
SOUTHERN PANSIES, FOPS AND DANDIES, LAUGHING GASSED-UP APES<br/>
DYING FOR CREPES, OLDER THAN NETSCAPE, FATE, HUMAN LOVE-HATE<br/>
GENDERLESS, EFFORTLESS, MEANINGLESS<br/>
ONE JOINT ANOINTED AND MY POINT’S DEAD, FORGIVE MY SINS<br/>
THIS JUST IN—IT’S DOLPHINS!</p><p>ALL<br/>
TO MEMORIES THAT STILL I SEE REPLACED IN ME ENDLESSLY<br/>
2I’S COFFEE, THE SEX PISTOLS, LISZT AND QUEEN<br/>
TO MOVE ON—EVERY HUMAN FRIEND LONG GONE</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
No tea reheating!</p><p>ALL<br/>
TO SODOMY,<br/>
IT’S BETWEEN GOD AND ME</p><p>GOD<br/>
I BLESS—AMEN</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
Waiter …  Waiter …  Waiter …</p><p>ALL<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
In honor of the death of the life we’ve known an impromptu salon shall commence accompanying your top-shelf cocktails.<br/>
Demon Ligur, (LIGUR gets on the table and dances) clad only in rubber boots, will provide his violet wand top-sounding skills and DJ in electro genre.</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
(climbing on the table as LIGUR gets down)<br/>
And God herself will preview her new documentary, in a weak approximation through film the omniscience of her past glory days.</p><p>(MICHAEL picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune it.)</p><p>GOD<br/>
(On the table.  As she walks along she spins GABRIEL.)<br/>
And forget not Gabe, back from his spectacular one-night engagement behind this esteemed venue,<br/>
Who’ll sing nouveau celestial harmonies in the style of The Specials,<br/>
As dimensional planes give way to the sounds of horns on high<br/>
To punctuate his skanking.</p><p>(At this point, BEELZEBUB has entered.  GABRIEL sees them and playfully makes the sign of the cross in their direction.  GABRIEL turns back to the crowd, completely failing to notice as BEELZEBUB exits.  HASTUR pulls LIGUR aside.)</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
THAT ARCHANGEL DOESN’T KNOW ABOUT US?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
THERE’S NOTHING TO KNOW</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
DON’T YOU THINK THAT WE SHOULD DISCUSS—</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
HELL WAS SO LONG AGO</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
SHE DOESN’T ACT LIKE SHE’S WITH YOU</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
SHE’S WORKING THINGS OUT</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
WHERE IS SHE NOW?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
SHE’S RIGHT—HMM</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
UH-HUH</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
She caught doubt?</p><p>GOD<br/>
And Michael will attempt to write a bittersweet, angelic-styled song.<br/>
(MICHAEL picks up a guitar and plays Musetta’s Waltz.)<br/>
That—hasn’t been used in two other operas.</p><p>AZIRAPHALE<br/>
(CROWLEY struts along the table.)<br/>
Crowley “the Snake of Drag” will model Carnaby Street’s fashions from Paris<br/>
While shuffling tarot cards in time with Lou Reed singing—backwards—“Pale Blue Eyes.”</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
My angel will recount his exploits as activist<br/>
Including the tale of his successful expulsion from all the top ten schools in London resulting from speaking truth<br/>
To young mortals, that is to say, the words:</p><p>ALL<br/>
(shouting)<br/>
“We are not your enemy—sell truth—not souls!”</p><p>HASTUR<br/>
Bill!</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
WELL BLESS ME IF I STOP YOUR SAD SONG<br/>
I GET INVITED THEN IGNORED ALL NIGHT LONG</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
MY MIND’S SPINNING—I’M NOT SINNING<br/>
I WAS BRAVE ONCE NOW SCARED OF DARK</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
MEMORY’S SHORTENING, JUST KEEP FLYING<br/>
LET’S SAY THAT YOUR DARKNESS BRINGS OUT MY LIGHT</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU—</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
GOD’S GOT DARKNESS TOO</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>BOTH<br/>
DARKNESS<br/>
WINE AND BEER!</p><p>(LIGUR’s beeper sounds.  He turns it off without looking at MICHAEL.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
That’s my meds break.</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
YOU?</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
SURE, YOU?</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
LIGUR</p><p>(LIGUR sits on the edge of the table and takes pills.)</p><p>(MICHAEL joins him.  The rest of the COMPANY freezes.)</p><p> </p><p><a id="ishouldtellyou" name="ishouldtellyou"></a>I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU MY PRIDE RAGES<br/>
I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO GIVE IN</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
SO WHY PUT THOSE PARTS IN CAGES<br/>
WITH SOMEONE WHO WANTS YOUR SIN<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I SHOULD TELL MARK BLEW THE CANDLE OUT<br/>
JUST SO I’D GO THERE</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I’D FORGOTTEN HOW TO FEEL<br/>
UNTIL I DREAMED ABOUT YOUR LAIR</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I SHOULD TELL YOU</p><p>BOTH<br/>
I SHOULD TELL<br/>
CAN WE BE SO<br/>
MAYBE— (MICHAEL leans in to kiss LIGUR but he pulls away.)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
OH NO</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
I KNOW IT’S TOO REAL BUT<br/>
HERE GOES (holds up her hand)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
HERE GOES (holds his hand to hers.  They link fingers)</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
GUESS GOOD<br/>
CAN COME FROM BAD<br/>
WHO KNOWS? (holds her other hand up.  He does the same.  They link fingers)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
WHO KNOWS</p><p>BOTH<br/>
SHE MADE STARS<br/>
IS THIS OURS (stand up and take both hands)<br/>
WHO KNOWS<br/>
HERE GOES</p><p>LET YOUR WINGS OPEN DROP ALL CONCERN<br/>
BLESS WINE AND WATER WITHOUT A BURN<br/>
FEARLESS AND FAITHFUL I’D CROSS THE STYX<br/>
TEARLESS AND ABLE FIND A NEW FIX<br/>
SO HERE WE GO<br/>
NOW WE</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
OH NO (pulling away)</p><p>LIGUR<br/>
I KNOW</p><p>MICHAEL<br/>
OH NO</p><p>BOTH<br/>
WAS THIS PLANNED (LIGUR takes MICHAEL’s hands) TAKE MY HAND<br/>
HERE GOES (LIGUR leads MICHAEL across the stage taking a step every “here goes”)<br/>
HERE GOES<br/>
HERE GOES HERE GOES<br/>
HERE GOES HERE GOES</p><p> </p><p><a id="laviesansfinb" name="laviesansfinb"></a>LA VIE SANS FIN B</p><p>(MICHAEL and LIGUR exit.  BEELZEBUB reenters, obviously angry.)</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Are we packed?</p><p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
Yes—and by next week<br/>
I want you to be.</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
Sweet-wings?</p><p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
YOU WON’T BELIEVE<br/>
THEY’VE WARDED YOUR BUILDING<br/>
AND THEY’RE RIOTING ON OLD COMPTON STREET<br/>
HASTUR CALLED THE COPS</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
That frog!</p><p>BEELZEBUB<br/>
NOT A DAMNED SOUL IS GOING<br/>
IT’S POWER I’VE NEVER FELT<br/>
AND OUR KIND’S GLOWING<br/>
WHILE THEY’RE SITTING THERE, BLOWING!</p><p>ALL<br/>
Yeah!!!<br/>
(Pandemonium erupts in the bar.)<br/>
Gavotte!</p><p>AN ANGEL<br/>
HUMAN BOSSES NEVER HIRE, FLAGELLATE, IGNORE COMMANDMENTS<br/>
HOLY WATER, LIKEWISE HELLFIRE, TO THE END FROM THE BEGINNING</p><p>ALL<br/>
Film</p><p>GOD<br/>
ASCENSION, GRACE OF I, ALL FAMILY, EVERY LOCATION<br/>
GIVING ’TIL THERE’S NOTHING, BURNING, SACRED AND DEMONIC CHILDREN</p><p>ALL<br/>
Music</p><p>CROWLEY<br/>
CONFESS ALL THEN QUESTION, LIVING GUILTLESS, DARKEST PLACES<br/>
BEING, LOOKING, SEEING, BREAKING BREAD, AND HEAVY CONVERSATION</p><p>ALL<br/>
Anarchy</p><p>AZIRAPHALE AND GABRIEL<br/>
RISING UP NOW, TOO LONG, STANDING FOR IMMORTALS<br/>
NEVER SILENT, TRUTH, AND SOLDIERS<br/>
FLAMING SWORDS AND OFF OUR KNEES</p><p>ALL<br/>
NO GENDER OR ALL, SLUTS, AND ACES TOO</p><p>GABRIEL<br/>
To me</p><p>AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY<br/>
To me</p><p>ALL<br/>
To what we want to be week-to-week!<br/>
AND ALL US FIGHTING WITH, FIGHTING WITH, FIGHTING WITH<br/>
WON’T LIE DOWN FROM DISEASE<br/>
LET HE AMONG THEM WITHOUT SIN<br/>
BE THE FIRST TO CONDEMN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>GOD<br/>
ALL OF US OUT OF THEIR MAINSTREAM<br/>
ARE THEY EVEN IN THEIR MAINSTREAM?<br/>
EVERY ONE TO STAY, COME WHAT DAMN MAY</p><p>OTHERS<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>GOD<br/>
STAND ON THE WALL<br/>
PROUD AND TALL<br/>
THE OPPOSITE OF DEAD ISN’T LIVE<br/>
IT’S ETERNAL</p><p>ALL<br/>
LA VIE SANS FIN</p><p>(Lights down.  Spotlight on GOD.)</p><p>GOD<br/>
The riot continues.  Windows get smashed and bins are lit.  The snow dances.  Oblivious, Ligur and Michael share a small, lovely kiss.</p><p>(Spotlight on LIGUR and MICHAEL kissing.)</p><p>(Lights down.  Lights up on the Admiral Duncan.)</p><p>ALL<br/>
Viva la vie sans fin!</p><p>(Lights down)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>xx <a href="http://siliconealien.tumblr.com">siliconealien</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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